​Ain’t u illlitrit?  Ain’t u illitrit, Ardeshna, a narrow, bloated, unlettered, irrational, rather stupid, psychotic little man who thinks he knows everything and knows nothing outside of medicine, an animal devoid of ethics, devoid of intellect, a lunatic who lives in a world that exists solely in his head and is contemptuous of all fact, who appears to be possessed of the delusion his absolute power  governs England, and you Whelan, a grotesque, and O’Mahony  and Abraham, and so many of the sick freaks in Black’s Unit.  And of course Black herself.  Except of course Dame Carol with her Third in History is not wholly ignorant.  What lies did you tell, Carol?  Love to hear them.
 
We do so have to protect the lie, don’t we, the one great lie of medicine, that strutting mindless ignorant animals of doctors, devoid of intellect, devoid of the smallest of intellectual virtues, a concern for fact, for evidence, are the elite of the universities. And of course the nurses: we see no problem with nursing degrees, since we are as ignorant, intellectually incapable, narrow and mad as the nurses.   We truly believe the universities are trade-schools for the inadequate, ignorant and irrational who are to be protected from ideas, from argument, from reason because we are the inadequate, ignorant and irrational who cannot cope with challenge.  
 
It would seem useful pro tem to simply ignore these creatures as mental defectives, except for the obvious who are coldly brutally ruthlessly evil: until they progress to speech and reason, until in the case of the doctors they learn to conduct themselves like senior members of the University not the wordless brutish creatures their joke degrees have enabled them to remain, until they adduce fact and construct argument (until we have a few jolly Socratic dialogues in the Agora) when the quality of their intellects if any can be openly assessed.
 
Ain’t u illitrit?  They ain’t illitrit, right, and they’ll hit you and maim you and try to destroy you to ‘prove’ they ain’t illitrit.  A complete joke, though a sick and obscene one.
 
Footnote to various: if kids are having breakdowns over their exams, they shouldn’t be doing them, or made to do them.  I got a bit neurotic over my O Levels, though I still got 9 of them, all in academic subjects,  but then I had a schooling you couldn’t make up
 
1965-1966: Chichester High School for Girls, West Sussex
1966-May 1967: Colyton Grammar School, Devon (with rapidly developing spinal curvature)
June 1967-January 1968: In-patient Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital, flat in bed in a plaster-cast from chin to hip
January 1968-July 1971: English School of The Hague, The Netherlands, first 6 months in a foul device called a Milwaukee brace, when Maths and Geography weren’t at the forefront of my mind.
June 1971: O Levels
 
If you have been five years at one, good school and are developing ulcers, you should be doing something else.
 
The medical term is adolescent idiopathic scoliosis.  I take it the denizens of UCH have at least heard of it?  And if you think I went through all that to be crippled by mental defectives of doctors and nurses, to have my quality of life destroyed, if you think it doesn’t matter what they have done to me, quite honestly I’d happily see you hang.
 
Course they ain’t bleeding illitrit.
 
CORSIN AND CORADIUM
 
Extract from The Anile Heir, substantially rewritten and now on acid.         Still in the draft stage, including somewhat bizarre tab stops but, since you will hate it, you can have it as is.            ‘Course they ain’t bleeding illitrit.            No tard slum-criminal is bleeding illitrit.
Similarly, of course, they all fall over themselves to support and uphold anything that’s obvious filth, while I am left to rot, crippled and isolated and broke.          Lower than vermin is complimentary.
© 2006.I, Ysabel Jehan Howard, hereby assert and give notice of my right under s.77 of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act1988 to be identified as the author of this book
 
Corsin naturally didn’t take kindly to salons such as Pilo’s and now sought to consolidate its hold on Azt.            A raid was never unexpected. This one was particularly good because Sarsh was visiting her parents at the time and much as Corsin woud have liked a princess of Dabida at their mercy for the moment the possible repercussions were off the radar.      I’m so terrifying, said Sarsh shakily afterwards.        A lot of guys burst in waving guns, said Mardis.         They fanned through the house and arrived in the
drawing-room and started to babble about us being under arrest.      A bunch of Corsin followed.  They turned their evil glares on Mummy and Papa.            Mummy invited them to sit down and Pilo said, I didn’t catch your name Colonel.                   Sarshi Talal, my daughter you know. Sarshi gave her gorgeous slightly vague smile.                The shooting started in the rest of the house. I really don’t think until then dear Sarsh realized anything was up.       The Thing ordered: leave the woman, then it really began.   The walls were closing in on us, crush us, entomb.     There is only Death.   Life, said Pilo, the walls crumbled, we are in a meadow, birds are singing.     I didn’t know my revered papa was that good.          I’m in awe. ‘Course if I’d thought about it, staying in Azt, they were either very good or suicidal.
Of course there were other cats in the room.  A giant cat leapt for the Thing’s throat.
Oh yah, my mother.    The cat was turned into leering Death in a silver coronet down into whose maw we were being pulled.       They’re pretty good too. Once Sarsh comes out of her trance, she’s a heroine.         She says it was just what came into her beautiful head.    Of course Vij is Zani’s heir, she said. You will never ever win.
I think that slightly annoyed them. So there we were at stasis, mind on mind and if either fragments even for a moment we get shot, so I thought I’d inflame them some more and don’t even think how we’re going to get out of this.       I ‘wrote’ Narulis rules, OK! on the floor in liquid silver letters that flowed towards their feet, which was actually a pretty stupid thing to do because the letters turned to bubbling hissing acid flowing towards our feet, which was apparently also flammable and suddenly we were in a sea of fire.      The trouble with this stuff is if your mind thinks you’re in a sea of fire - the heat became intense and we actually were in a sea of fire.     That good.                   And now we’re freaking drowning because the room is filling with water.  At this point the cats have sorted the rest of the house, a lot of guys are disarmed and less dangerous, some cats are holding them and others come in and shoot Corsin in the back.
Now all we have to do is get out of Azt.        Anyone for vertical take-off? At the back of the house is like a mews, a cul-de-sac, so let’s assume it’s blocked off and we can unblock it,, unless there’s a freaking tank in the way (there wasn’t) and it’s regular guys, so we can screw their brains (mostly).            So there’re a whole gaggle of us, family, staff,

cats, most of the ‘staff’ are cats, guests.         This man’s army numbers 10 and we can all squeeze into the hearse, better rename it, that’s what we always called Pilo’s little family run-about, great black thing, built like a tank, moves like a jet.   So Plan One is to drive like the whole of hell is after us to Carlin and Plan Two is the Dabidan Rep Centre and outface international mayhem.
Neither is a particularly wonderful plan, but let’s just assume they’re not expecting this, they haven’t got an army waiting for us.    Two just looks easier. A short drive past the Corsin HQ.      One is three turns and we’re on a main road. We got here.    I know they sent some guys up and there was a certain amount of turmoil in the air but of course we didn’t see it
So they’ll come for Carlin.
Or me, said Sorg softly.          Sorry, chaps.   Caniba shrugged manfully, knowing itself a target anyway.
First, of course the coppers were ordered to arrest us.           They had a drink and were just about to go to their beds when the sirens went.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.  I do secretly confess to a touch of doubt.       In Pilo’s drawing room is one thing, but in the air!          KAF took off from Car-bandil. They didn’t even get close, but mean time we seem to have been invaded.    The Minister arrived at Stok-chasit with a whole gaggle of Things.
Corsin have left Azt, reported PANTHER.    Not of course all of them, a pity since it could have been possible to get the whole lot. Not only Corsin but regular guys loyal to Azt. A lot of them.            With air-cover.  Oh dear, they seem to be invading Carlin.      They crossed the border.         The sound-effects started.                        Yeah, guys, a lot has changed in 600 years.   It’s amazing what you can do with amplifiers and synthesizers and the wide range of noises readily available on the Grid.            Great cats roared.            The usual sounds of the night, foxes barking, rabbits screaming, were amplified and distorted.            There were the sounds of battle.                     Uzz’n bain’t but ‘armless yokels in Carlin.    Bit of poaching.
The first man to have his leg caught in a gin-trap stifled a scream of his own.         Sarat of course disapproves hugely of gin-traps. Neutralize Stok-chasit.       Stok-chasit came out to greet them. KAF took off from Car-bandil.    If FAF on the Dabidan border helped them, no-one was crude enough to comment until later.        About half of them were killed or wounded, either by the gallant officers and men of Stok-chasit or by carpet-bombing.
The vampires were sent into the sea.
So here we are in a fucking cow-pat, surrounded on all, and I mean all sides by the enemy.           Not good.   Where is cover?
Dawn broke over Carlin revealing a scene of carnage not seen for, well, about 600 years.
Corsin scanned.           Nothing.          A short drum roll.        The imperial anthem started up.
Insolent vermin!          Most of the regular guys didn’t know it was the imperial anthem. Those who did were particularly unhappy.  They spread out, some to occupy the village. The village was waiting for them.            Pretend - we’re your side!      Password, please.        A few men did die in friendly fire, though if you got close to the Stok-chasit guys you saw they all had a strange insignia.     Vishtu gazed dispassionately at the corpses in the street. No-one tell ‘ee, uzz’n shoots in Carlin.
What we are supposed to do, thought Corsin, is march on the House,          An obvious trap.         Fire the House, burn the animals alive.            Or demand their surrender.     Suddenly

minds came in range.  Corsin directed concerted assault at the woods to their left.  The assault was deflected into the trees.           Sarat really wouldn’t have wholly approved.
PANTHER returned the attack.          Corsin deflected it into the regular guys, who didn’t approve at all.            Their faces twisted in terror, as giant cats tore at their throats.
An army of the dead rose from the earth and began to march forward.         It became cold and dark.            Corsin were rather irritated at having to do this, realizing the net result was to scare the shit out of their own guys with probably zero effect on the enemy, but they wanted to see what the enemy would do.            The enemy shattered the corpses and sent down a rather nasty shower of rotting flesh, bone and cerement, which Corsin gathered into fireballs sent bouncing towards the woods, which were caught in mid-air and returned to senders, who hastily quenched them, and also got flat.        Corsin do not expect to be shot at because they do not expect anyone opposing them to retain the power to pull a trigger.  Once again concerted assault was directed at minds that rolled over in the sunshine and patted butterflies with their paws.
Suddenly there were voices in the air (another recording).   You guys really like fire, don’t you, fire to burn the senoki witches, fire to purify, fire to kill the trees, fire to smoke out the witches, fire to destroy the evil.            There was the sound of women screaming.
Pain.    Pain really does it for you, doesn’t it, terrible pain.    Bears were tearing open Corsin’s faces, eating their brains.       Deflected.
They knew now.         Fucking Sardun. Sardun in fucking Carlin? Actually it wasn’t.                        PANTHER have learned a trick or two. Behind!
PANTHER advanced firing, mentally and physically from the direction of the House.
KAF had a further message for a hypnotized, hysterical and screaming world. Narulis rules, OK!
The Zur Gazette will always use a name rather than an event. So Sarsh woke to Sarshi in heroic escape from Azt! But later editions carried PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR KAF!
Surely, mused Tar, the strangest headline to appear in Zur.
Time we got off this continent, said Mitch.    Later he said, I believe Duvi has three who cannot be much older.   I am quite sure they do childcare in Carlin!
Karula said: we get bombed, we all go together. Mitch said: Always look on the bright side.
Karula consulted her tablet: Actually they’re way older.       Still pre-teen.  Omnian, Liande and Ausculan.
The H-W at the border rang the hill
My lord my lady Var-sega’ have just driven into Carlin! One for Cho, I think, said Tar.
Lindy and Auscu were sitting on the stairs remarking to anyone who bothered to listen, which was no-one, that they didn’t know exactly what had happened but obviously something had.
“We’re terribly good with young children,” said Lindy, “after all, we are young children, we know what it feels like.”
“Mom will not be far away,” Karula assured her brood.
Apanin flung open the drawing-room door, grinning like someone with Hanif-Altan

in mind.
“My lord my lady Var-sega’!”
“I did not think,” said Mitch, “this is a private war.” “Hi,” said Vij.
“We can’t keep meeting like this!” said Mitch.
“Why,” demanded Sarshi, “have we not seen you?   I’m Sarshi, by the way.” “That is a long story,” said Mitch.
The Dabidan Senate passed a defensive alliance with Carlin, apparently oblvious to the fact that Carlin wasn’t strictly speaking a nation, but entirely aware that if Carlin ended up a battlefield a lot of Dabidan pay-packets would suffer.
Tedious ceremonial parades were held in Azt and the raids continued One of them was Smudge.          Azt hadn’t realized.
Family, said Mel.        Family, said Sarat.      In-law twice removed or something.  He had a rather taut conversation with Essa, but only some of it concerned his safety; the rest concerned Mitch, whose politics, it had rapidly become apparent, were much Sarat’s own.
“You are 18.    You are ready to lead a revolution?” “Dad!”
“One of you is bad enough.” “Mitch isn’t 18.”
“How can you be other than leader of this pack?”
Sarat entered Carlin with Mel, the H-W and what looked like half PANTHER. As met them at the border.
“Welcome back.”
Sarat made an indeterminate noise, but it was drowned out by press-fiends.
Sarat!   You’re - some mouths couldn’t quite form ‘Anile heir’.        Others got there.
Narulis’ heir, said Sarat, pretending to sound meek and patient.       Tell you when I get to the House.
Uh, sure, Sarat.
Think of it this way, said Sarat.          Who is my partner?     You got it! And who is Maya’s brother?
And who is his partner!
Family, said Sarat.      I never miss family parties. Sarat!
Baz put his foot down and they whizzed off.
If we go now to the House, Mel, Asdinan and - Sarat?          [Sarat? Sarat!] Have things to say.
“My family,” said As, “were fortunate enough to escape.     Others were less fortunate.     Among them is the internationally renowned artist Smudge, who is the father of the mother of my son.”    He gave a wry grin.     “You didn’t know that, did you.”
“Asdinan!”
“How - no, OK,.OK, I’m not that stupid!” “We met in Azt. It didn’t work out.”
Mel said: “Asdinan is Sarshi’s cousin.           Her partner Vij is of course my cousin.” Sarat said: “My partner Maya is of course Vij’s sister. As far as I’m concerned,
Smudge is family, though pass on what it’s called.
Sarat - you are -          Etc.

“We were talking about wrongful arrest!       Stick to the point, guys. Obviously we want Smudge’s release but also we want the - “
He realized they weren’t listening.
The Anile heir is standing here in Carlin taking on Azt.        Etc. “Sssssh!” said Mel.
Time passed.
Sarat made wide eyes. “It’s all gone quiet.”
“Don’t exaggerate,” said Mel.
“We want the release of everyone arrested by the government in Azt,” said Sarat.  . “Actually,” said As, “we want the arrest of the government in Azt.”
“First things first,” said Mel.
“The world just stopped,” mused Seani.
“You can’t say he doesn’t look the part,” said Num. “It is not conceivable.            Is it?”
“Sssh!”
“I guess I need to do the dear world bit,” said Sarat. “The full handle is
Sarat-ban-essa-eban-narulis.    Don’t think I’ve ever said it before. I’m a Fidubi brat who used to keep a lot of hamsters and thought he was going to be a vet - “
Even Essa laughed.
“Choit-ban-varna (eban-Narulis), notorious Fidubi radical, 30 years in the Senate of the Republic of Fidub, is my revered grandfather. OK, Kaduna-gar-jaht, this matter of Kadun. I heard CLIK, As,    Mardis - conceivably one or two members of my family - on urban conditions.         I reckoned I wanted to do something about them.            I studied science. I’m quite good on water-borne parasites and the relationship between air quality and lung disease. I hope no-one’s going to say that’s some big deal.    Hysteria break out because a Fidubi brat says he doesn’t like rats crawling over babies?           I didn’t exactly see defeating the Cult as my remit. I’m an exo kind of guy, the sort of guy who fixes the drains.       Being at school might have had something to do with it.       Get involved in Kadun’s future when I’ve grown up a bit. But this war is now. I’m Narulis’ heir.        I can’t not be.  So I guess this is my war.       I do not accept.”
“I’m Zani’s heir,” said Mel.    “I do not accept.” Sarat!         Mel!     Etc.
“Hysteria,” mused Seani, “just broke out because a Fidubi brat doesn’t like rats crawling over babies.”
“Cho’s grandson!        What does anyone expect?” “Not this!”
The trio had escaped inside, Mel burbling cheerfully, then stopping abruptly as he realized Sarat had never seen the Window before.        The others had come out into the hall and equally fallen silent as Sarat climbed the stairs to the half-landing. This is a spine-tingler, thought As.     One for my memoirs, thought Baz.     Narulis’ heir examined Narulis’ Window. He says he didn’t think anything terribly clearly but if he had it would have been so this is what all the fuss is about.  Saryulin stood beaming at the bottom of the stairs.
“Welcome to Carlin!”
“I thank you.   Image of Cho!”

He is very shaken, thought Mel.
“Mitch and Karula,” said Asdinan.    “I think you have a lot in common.” “Plumbing,” said Mitch “is a specialty of mine.”
“Sound!” squawked As.
“And here is Maya.     I guess you have one or two things to say, Maya.
There was a cordon at the bottom of the hill and a scattering of trucks and vans, both Press and H-W.            Maya sat on the bonnet of an H-W van.
Duvi and Karula exchanged complex glances.
“I’m Zani’s heir too,” said Maya.       “There is no point in us, in any of this - “ she gestured at the hill.     “If we’re not in the way.”
“Sure, Maya...”
“You want to fix the drains, Maya?
“You and Sarat want to sort out social conditions in Kadun?” “You’re Tar’s niece, Maya!”
“I know!”
“The Anile heir and Tar’s niece want to sort out the drains?” “You may be getting this!”
“Dabidan model, Maya!”
“Is there a joke there about a cat-walk?” “We all know Cho loves cats!”
“Anile empress, Maya!”
“Free-born citizen of Fidub, mate, free-born citizen of Fidub!          The way Sarat sees it, probably his biggest problem is you guys squealing Anile throne! Sarat doesn’t have a prob with the Fidubi model.     I thought we should make it a happening, get kids in from all over the continent to see what we’re doing, help if they want.”
They said afterwards everyone over 30 grasped the nearest piece of furniture for

support.
 
“Maya!” “You called?”
“Kadun will never - “ “Ciletij!”
“Even if he is President of Kadun!”
“He’d have to be elected,” pointed out Maya.            “I want to tell you about Tonsa.

Tonsa is a huge fluffy pink electronically controlled toy rabbit.” Yes, well, people did look a little puzzled.            “She does bunny hops and probably eats carrots.       When I was about seven Pietri had to represent Tar at something in G-T.         Varchulan darling gave me Tonsa.     It’s just a little bit hard to make ye ancient foe out of a toy rabbit.            What Airoch calls the Cile,” she added helpfully.
“Women in Kadun, Maya?”
“We think people in Kadun should have the rights and liberties everyone else on the continent has.”
“I guess Hass has some pretty strong views on one thing!” “He does.”
“Kadun will never accept gays.” “Why not?  Everyone else does.” Hass got up and skidded down the hill.

“You really need to talk to As,” Maya was saying                 “Obviously he’s got other concerns right now.            He’s talked to a lot of the guys.          Basically - obviously their knees jerk, but they’re not idiots.            They don’t think Fidub’s a push-over because of the composition of her military and the gender of her President.”
“I’ve been to Carlin,” said Hass.        “Often.” “You’re Tar’s son, Hass - “
“I’m a human being,” said Hass. “Me too,” said Maya.
“Dear lizard,” said Hass, “don’t even bother hissing because we know what you’re going to say.  Did it ever occur to those guys they have a problem?”
“We know the real pervs are the Cult,” said Maya.    “BDSM isn’t in it!” Vanya made a noise somewhere between pride and hysteria.
“They get off on pain,” said Hass.      “Having people crawling.”
Dare you to say that in Kadun, thought Vanya.          The trouble is you probably would.
The trouble is you probably have.
“Now, ladies and gentlemen, if we might just start to use our brains and think about what went down when the young people played so nicely together in the fields of Carlin.”
“They grew up,” said Sabatin, Minister of Defence, only slightly helplessly. “Dear world,” Mitch said, “the full handle is Micheal ban-sarndit-vaq.   My
father is Master of Var-sega’.
Now we must go back to Carlin.         Var-segan is going to speak!” “I think the world just stopped again,” sighed Seani.
“For the moment,” said Mitch, “we are of course at war.      All shades of sane opinion in Kadun are united against the vermin in Azt.       Nonetheless, we must begin to discuss the peace.      It cannot be a question of changing just one thing or indeed of many persons working separately.       All of us have tried that, the unions, my grandfather setting up hospitals.               It makes not one whit of difference to the whole.      In the cities people are buried alive.                    They think that tomb is poverty and lack of education.         I say that tomb is there if you are me.               I just get to stand upright.       The granite slab above our heads is infrastructure you make people better and you send them home to damp rat-infested tenements.            You shorten their working-hours but they can barely afford to eat, let alone engage in what the south called leisure-time activities. The food is crap anyhow.
Everything must change or else we hack at the tentacles of the hydra without destroying its brain.
“Kadun is bought by the banks in the City.    The Cult corrupts individuals. The City banks provide apparently limitless funding for the Cult.       Central government subsidizes the building of housing that is dangerous and the manufacture of food that is poisonous and so claims to assist the poor. If you ask how the housing is dangerous, how many ways can housing be dangerous?        The wiring is unsafe, the foundations are inadequate, the roofs crack under heavy snow - I swear that actually happened.
Fortunate indeed we are not in an earthquake zone.   Fine shiny hospitals are built by big pharma, setting an example to the world, only down the road people are dying of pneumonia because they afford neither heat nor medicine.  If you went to Tjulsit on business, you’d probably think it looked like anywhere else, shops, supermarkets, theatres, but you probably wouldn’t stray into where the workers live, you would not wear the clothes they are offered and you would not eat their food, especially the meat, unless you

have a penchant for rat.          Azt will tell the world it has public health inspectors and food hygiene laws like everywhere else.   It forgets to mention no-one pays the slightest attention to them.”
Sarat said: “Sorg explained some stuff to me about women in Kadun.         Some of it’s just pure sexism but it’s all tied up with keeping girls safe when they don’t have any rights.       Exactly what he said - he was sure a woman in the Dabidan Army could look after herself, but if by any chance she couldn’t, she has the right to speak and she’s sure she’ll be heard. That’s basically what Mitch said about infrastructure.”
“Exactly so, said Mitch.          “I have two daughters.            I should not wish them in any barracks I have ever visited, but that is because of the nature of the barracks, not the nature of the female!”
“Who one is,” said Challin. “Who two are!”
“Pray silence my lady Var-sega!” Only slightly sarcastically.
“As Mitch has said, we have two daughters. I do not wish my girls growing up in a society in which they are second-class citizens in law and in practice.         To expand upon what Mitch has said, that barrier is there even if you are me.         It is implicit in every exchange with the unreconstructed Kadun male.            Like Mitch I went to the Schools.
Like Mitch I have a fully functioning brain.   Like Mitch I have never ceased to be committed to change in Kadun. Mitch and I decided together to have our kids first. I stayed at home with my babies. I used that time to conduct a great deal of research on this matter of Kadun.. The number of persons who assumed that infants in arms proof of mental inadequacy, ignored my contributions to conversations between men was to say the least depressing.          I recall indeed that so appalled was Mitch by the behaviour of two supposed radicals that he told them to leave.                   The innate superiority of the male is too often taught from birth.      It is explicit in those schools funded by the Cult, where there are a two distinct curriculums, one for boys, one for girls.    A working-class boy may be encouraged, though that is by no means always the case, a working-class girl, never.
Her role is to reproduce and look after the men who do the important things.” The Ciletij Representative at Zur looked at Vanya, appalled.
“Yet another shrinking violet.”
Well, well, well, thought Qine, so that is Mitch’s lady Mitch’s lady pointed wordlessly at the screen.
“Cantilip has changed,” remarked Mitch nonchalantly.         The last time they’d seen her she’d been at school and school didn’t do dark green hair and nails and a silver dress that looked painted on.
“I am Cantilip za-fenan.          My mother is Mistress of Van-senok. We in Van-senok of course have never subscribed to the sexist paradigms elsewhere in Kadun.       That is why the hebade Cult burned us as witches - when they caught us, which wasn’t often.”
I have heard some opening-lines,” murmured Mitch.
“Of course there must be revolution,” said Cantilip briskly.  “Social revolution, sexual revolution. Kadun must join the real world.”
Burned?
Three of them?            Four!
Mel caught the ball in mid-air and ran with it.
“I am a student at the Schools in the City.      My subject is Anthropology.  I chose

that subject partly as a result of my having come to Carlin as a child and having discovered the indigenous culture of Kadun, the true culture of Kadun, earthpower. Partly, of course , you could say it’s my job as Zani’s heir to know about cults and rites.
“I am now going to plunge into ancient history.         Please bear      with me, because it matters right now.            Contact between Fidub and Kadun long pre-dated Narulis.   Fidub of course was and is a sea-faring nation. Kadun, as Asdinan puts it, is when there is any sea to fare. There’re Fidubi pottery, coins, weapons in the museum in Car-sandis and equally there’s a whole gallery in the National at Maona-Pri devoted to irturbi artefacts from the Utmost Isle. When irturbi discovered Isles that have the dashed temerity to sing, they naturally thought them evidence of the power of the earth.       To most irturbi of that time in the east, the Tradition was simply a variant of earthpower. Certainly there are differences, but to all of us life is a question of unity, of balance, of creativity, in direct opposition to the fracture and destruction of the Cult.
“I want to state categorically my belief we are all of us, Dabida, Fidub, the vast majority of sane people in Kadun on the same side here. I also want to thank publicly my lady Van-senok, Marula-za-fenan, and Sardun, the earthpower equivalent of PANTHER, for the limitless aid and shelter they have provided to those resisting in all parts of Kadun.  Among these, I might add, are Hadin-Wadud.          This is something of which I have had first-hand reports.     There are more than a few of us galloping around making trouble.           I thank you.
Mitch, thought Karula, if you grin any more broadly, your face will split.
“I too wish to share history with you,” said Mitch.    “Mel has given us the ice-cream with chocolate bits. I have the cream topping.”
Those in the Room observed Cho trying not to choke with laughter.
“For those unfamiliar with Kadun, Var-sega’ occupies about two-thtrds of the west coast and Van-senok the rest.     In the middle is a nasty lump called Vaudos. Carlin of course you know.    Tacked on the top of Carlin is not merely a nasty lump but a festering pit of disease and infection, our glorious capital of Azt.            Narulis’ Azt is also one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I hope any bombing of Azt may be avoided.
“Nonetheless it is necessary to clear out the rats’ nest.          Among the possibilities open to Kadun are to split, Carlin and Dabida as one bloc in the east and we, Van-senok and Vasucula as a bloc in the west.     It would be an admission of defeat.       It would leave dangerous bacterial life-forms on this continent ready to re-infect.          Most of us, I think, wish to remain Kadun.
“Now we come to the nub.
“What Mel has described is what many of us in west call the Fidubi scam.  I do not say we are not fond of them.   I say we observe elisions of reality, for instance the assumption that what we good guys in Kadun think and believe is what Fidub thinks and believes. It is not.           How we welcome new-borns, pair, bury our dead is how Fidub does these things. It is not. Most people in Var-sega’ will tell you either that when you die you go to a field of flowers or that that is what everyone used to believe.                       I suspect that most people in Var-sega’ have never heard of Va, the Silver Homeland.              Despite this, of course, each of the Houses has a shrine, as do the towns and cities.   What those represent is I think not what is represented by the shrine at Maona-Pri.”
Nobody had ever seen Cho laugh like that. Nor for that matter had anyone ever seen the Dabidan Press silent and bug-eyed.

“As you may know, Narulis had 22 men with him.    There was no question of conquest.    Narulis and his guys joined with irturbi because they had shared values, because they knew each other, because as Mel has said, Fidub and Kadun had for ever been like that.    The unfortunate consequence of the unwitting assault on our indigenous values is to have squeezed them out of Kadun on the pretext they were the Fidubi import and so alien, the true culture of Kadun being held to be that of bacteria.      You will see this is a little annoying.
“Kaduna-gar-jaht, this Matter of Kadun, is no simple subject.         Mel used the word hebade.     I know that word is commonplace throughout the south to evade the charge of using impolite language in polite company and I shall not sully your ears by translating it but I do wonder how many people know it is an irturbi word. I do not think it it worries us that we speak the language of Fidub but nonetheless we have our culture, our own language, our own literature.”
“Hebade-dan!” muttered someone. Mitch grinned.
“Further, and you will see this is more than a little annoying, in some circles everything good the empire did is held to be Fidubi and everything bad irturbi.          I do not think anyone has ever called Jaizal Fidubi. For 700 years the empire was one of the coolest places around.  For 200 years it was a crock of shit.   I do not think I can put it more plainly than that.        I do not know more than the next man whether Kadun will choose the Dabidan model or the Fidubi but I would underline that that is a conversation we in Kadun will have with ourselves and Ciletij has no part in it.
“Meanwhile, I have a message for Azt: Remember Hanif-Altan!     Hanif-Altan, dear world, was the decisive battle some 1500 years ago when the armies of the west met the armies of the east and the Cult was annihilated.”
“Shake on it,” said As.
“We have a deal,” said Mitch. Cho - what - have - you - done! Press-fiends at the gate, Cho!
What they got was Amida.
“I, dear world, am Cho’s other half.   We are both of course immensely proud of Sarat and of them all.”
“Doting granny, Amida.”
“Oh where is my embroidery.”
“Amida, dear world, was a Preceptor at the Collegium.”
“I have four,” said Amida enthusiastically.    “Sarat, Shavli, Zika and Ven.” “This is Sohenoil’s revolution?”
“If there’s one thing you all have in common, you’re rolling!”
“Tell Tar people with more money should not care about people with less.” “OK, OK...”
“May I suggest you     listen to young people more or indeed older people. There is nothing outre in Sarat’s politics, any more than in Mitch’s or Maya’s.            IT happens they have both the money and the connections to I trust succed where others have failed - “
“And the history!”
“Oh yes, we all have history.”
“I have to say I found it a little strange - of course we love Fidub but!”

“Do you?” asked Amida. “Better out than in?”
“Better clarified at the start.”
“I guess we’re sometimes a little.” “We are,” said Amida.
“I have to say I thought earthpower - healing crystals and candles!”
“Is the Flame not a candle?    You should have listened to Sarat and Hass.
Balance is the essence of earthpower. We are a part of the planet, not an accretion on it.”
“Narulis wasn’t a tree-hugger, was he!”
“In a country as large as Kadun,, it is more correct to say that variants of earthpower formed the indigenous culture.      In the northern forests, tree-worship was prominent. Wood and fire are not good friends.            When Narulis reached Van-senok, they refused to let him in because he carried the Flame.            You may say he convinced them he was a tree-hugger.”
“Amida!”
“My lady!” breathed Challin, who is of course senoki.
“OK, but this is now!  You don’t tell me senoki are tree-worshippers!”
“I should imagine what Sarat and Hass believe is much what the average senoki believes.”
It is reported the following exchange took place between ship of the Fidubi Fleet the Silver Sheath and a Kadun cruiser on patrol.
K: Great goodness, our old friends from Fidub.         You require help? F: Just pausing to enjoy the view.
K: Reminisce.
F: Nothing like remembering old times. K: Narulis of course landed at Car-sandis. F: That was a long time ago!
K: I have heard no-one noticed his ship. F: Fog, perhaps.
K: I believe it is forecast.        Heavy fog.
K. drifted slowly away.          Not far away.
Received wisdom went they won’t sink you because that would mean war with Fidub and that’s the last thing they want.          They might board you to provoke a phony war with Fidub so they can gracefully surrender to Fidub.      They might of course be loons and actually want war with Fidub. Nobody quite believes that they’ll try to stop you protecting the House - but they might do.
Searc has flown to Azt, reported PANTHER.
K: We’re expecting company.            Don’t want you to feel overwhelmed. F: The fog has cleared?
K: No.
F: A private party?
K:Some chaps from Car-sandis.
Fidubi captain makes tearing hair out gestures.          They’ll protect us?      Inter us?
Play with us?   We’re the cats, we do the playing with mice.
There was an awful lot of comment and commentary and some of us was at the

same time in different parts of the continent, but one of the best bits, or any rate, apparently relatively trivial though it was, as in fate of one man as opposed to fate of continents, was Tet, who started by ringing Hass.
“We need to go out onto the balcony,” said Hass.
A battered green van drew up and Fal got out one side, Tet the other. “Help, then,” said Fal.
Wires were connected to screens.
“Now,” said Tet. “If you're not knowing who I am, I am Tet, and I too am a gifted artist, and indeed Mel's friend and I am thinking a number of things. Have we not in zero seconds moved from the fate of one man to Sarat as an incarnation of Narulis!
Indeed the human animal is grist to the artist. And I would say also - and who in Zur does not know it - anyone who thinks we the Seismic Six would let Sarat and Maya screw it is talking out of his nether regions.”
“Dear world,” murmured Fal.
“Dear world!   There were six of us, Mel and Hass and Junin, who’s now Army, Maitlan, who’s now Fleet, Reakoed and Fal who are now H-W and Me, and we spent all our holidays cluttering up the Saa’anda Senta arguing with anything that moved.     But meanwhile before the Great Revolution I’m thinking there are people who need to know about art.”
“Am I not looking at your face now, Da?” said Hass.
On Tet's screen appeared a cartoon of Mel as a large hairy sheepdog looking guiltily over his shoulder at the huge muddy pawmarks he left behind as he padded from The Room..
“Who'll not be remembering this one!” The crowd erupted.
“Me,” muttered Mel, “I pretend to be suave and sophisticated.”. “Or this.” continued Tet.
Sarat and Hass armed to the teeth as before them cowered a range of scrawny sly-looking motor vehicles emitting noxious fumes.
“Or this.”
Sarat and Hass as young ash-trees about to come into leaf. “Or this.”
Sarat and Hass valiantly barring the path of cross-eyed leering axe-men trying to grab the big bucks behind them..
“You'll understand this is not the first time Sarat has upset Ciletij.” “Ref, ref!” said Mel.
“But now let me change the picture.   Spoilt striplings of the privileged classes, indeed!.”
Sarat and Hass in thick furs, a chauffeur holding open the door of a limousine, while axe-men thin to the point of starvation pointed piteously to their equally emaciated children.
“I'm saying to you, you know these guys, you have known them since their cradles, and you know which is true.”
“Here are two more pictures, one from the site of Brantin Steel – and they'll try to extradite me for breach of copyright, I do not doubt – and one from the site of NoZone, whom I'm thinking I can square, and which is true, the smog or the sun?       If you have not

been to Tjulsit, you may say how can I know, but were we not talking about chest disease and air pollution and it is not the camera that produces those figures but doctors, irturbi doctors, international environmental agencies, and the like, and so on balance which is true?
“And here are some figures, figures for the use of torture in Kadun's prisons, and here are pictures from our refugee commission and you'll be seeing I've blacked out the faces because you know these guys too, they live here in Zur, and as we know there is a large refugee community in Batna-kri.
“And here are some quick sketches I have just done.” Sarat as a panther-cub curled up on the Anile throne. Sarat-panther pouncing on Nudra-rat (President of Kadun)
Fat well-dressed rats gathered round Kadun's heart, so busy guzzling they don't see the pack of panthers about to descend on them.
“It is my contention that anyone with a problem with what has been said here today needs his arse kicking into next week. And I would add that the Grid is full of
‘anti-government art’ and to arrest anyone for what is universally available is not just malign but stupid.            How thick are they in Azt!     We'll be going inside now.     Getting hungry.”
Someone started clapping.      Someone else joined in.          Then more. A creep moved hastily to the front of the crowd to grab airtime. “No need to push!”
“Most people watching won't know about Mel and Fal. Mel's so mad that she left him.      Bet Fal could tell you a good few things!           How long has this crap being going on for?”
Both Fal and Tet have short fuses but they also have presence of mind.
Fal turned slowly and stretched languidly, such that most men watching, being but human thought not, what's all this then or even that was below the belt but cor!   It gave her time to think.
“You forgot to tell them Maya's my best friend.        Everyone knows A-M's friends.
We don't talk.  Ever. About anything. Kind of a pity, really, or we'd be
multi-millionaires!       Do you know what Glitz would pay right now for anecdotes about Maya's childhood!       But there it is.  Stumm.”
Tet put two fingers between his lips and gave a whistle of approval. “Me too, now.            Would you like to be taking on the whole Six?” “You were Mel's lover, hey!”
Por, who knew that was a rather complicated question,         looked at Mel and murmured, “This was never going to be clean.”.
“I was always Mel's friend.    I was his girlfriend for a bit, yes.” “One girl, five guys – well, four real guys.    Some people say....”
“That you're a slimy little shit, some people say! We'll not be wasting our time with turd.”
“Put it around, did you, Fal-girl.” “No,” said Fal. “Sorry to disappoint.”
One of the H-W said, “Want an apple, Fal?” Give that man a medal! thought Tet. “Throw it over,” said Fal.

She bent over to apparently check her sandals and still caught it on her knife. “Guess you're the reason Sarat has to take Kadun.         Some sort of baboon.”
Tet said: “You were forgetting to tell them my Fal-girl is H-W. I'm not wringing your neck because she's perfectly capable of wringing it herself.”
“You threatening me?”
“Don't be silly,” said Fal.        “How can you be threatened by a woman?”
“I'm noticing,” said Tet, “the turd are sickly cowards.           They will not be abusing Tar's niece nor my ladies of Van-senok and Var-segan, but an ordinary Zuri.”
“Guy,” said someone, “what you need to do is ask Maya about her sex life.” “Please!”
“'Course the poor little girl will need all her male relatives to defend her!” “And Sarat!”
“Oh come on, you can do it!”
“Or me,” said Zeph, not yet Chair of GASH. “What was that again about real guys?”
“Whoops!” said someone.
Tet and Fal made their way up the hill, smirking at Hass coming down.. “I am so sorry,” said Cho.
“Kill, kill, kill!” trilled Fal, “Kill, kill, kill!” The others looked a bit startled.
“It's a song we have.   Usually reserved for the slime-machine.” “You mean it wasn't?”
Sarat was on the phone.
“The panther-cub on the chair, “ said Sarat.   “I want!           For the forum.” “Say please!”
“Pretty-please!” “Sssh!”
“Easy meat,” said Hass to no-one in particular.          “Not a real man.”
“'Course,” said Zeph, “Mel's the heir because he's the elder. Hass is second in line.
Do I think that would be upsetting, dear Zuri?” “We love Hass!” yelled someone.
“Careful,” said Hass.  “He might take you literally.” “Bet you him and Sarat....”
Por closed his eyes a moment. Hass looked puzzled.
“Sarat isn't gay.           You'd need to ask Maya the details.”
“Oh come on, walking round arm in arm, bleeding inseparable.” Is this happening?            thought Hass.
“We have never walked around arm in arm.  Too busy cuddling skaggas.    Did you know the skagga breeds only once every two years?”
Zeph choked.
“If celibacy is your bag, guess you could really learn from the skagga!”
“Oh, I don't know,” said Hass, “maybe it's bi, one year gay, one year straight.” “People have to breed!            Stands to reason.         Otherwise there wouldn't be any
people.”
“People do not 'have to' breed,” said an elderly lady. “I have had no children.”

“Plenty of people who do want kids,” said Zeph.
“Believe it,” said Hass, “the skagga's problem is not its sex-life.      The skagga's problem is that it's so stupid that when it does produce young it drops them in open land and they get eaten.”
“The real question is...” said Zeph, pausing dramatically, “has the baton passed to Hass, is he now the skagga's sole defender and advocate?”
“Can I shoulder,” said Hass, “that terrible burden!” Por looked at Sarat.
“What do you do with a direct question?        Not this time.  Maybe next or the time after.”
Saryulin gazed into the middle distance. Mitch and Karula exchanged glances saying plainly we did wonder.            Cantilip looked interested.
Mel said: “The precise sexual dynamics of the Six-cum-Eight.”
“Hass and I,” said Sarat.         “Maya and Fal. Separately, I hasten to add.” “I am most relieved to hear it,” said Cho.
“I don't think they will,” said Por.      “Innuendo.” “But they might,” said Baz.
“Tell the truth,” said Sarat.     “This is the real world, guys.  People have had more than one partner.”
“But usually stick to a specific gender.” “Tough,” said Sarat.
“I take it it can't be unearthed.”
“Not remotely. In my bedroom at home.”
“I don't think,” said Mel, “any of us is required to explain.   Beyond the bare facts.
So to speak.”
But Fal in the Room said: “Mel and I never really had a relationship at all.  He was protecting me.”
Cho thought of blandly saying, I see! but realized he didn't see at all.
Fal continued. “I knew about Sarat and Hass.            I knew from Maya Sarat isn't remotely gay.   It wasn't really about sex.          An expression of their relationship.    I wanted          – to see what that dimension was like with Hass.     He didn't.        Mel – saw I was hurt and gallantly put his arms round me.   I was chewing it all over with Maya and we sort of took it from there.”
Not      the exact truth, but damned if we'll tell him everything! “Reakoed, Tet and Maitlan regarded us like a bunch of - “
“Adorable lunatics,” said Tet. “Then I went off         to Enbahaluk.  By the time I was back they were moderately sane.”
“We'd all grown up by then,” said Fal.
“Like Mel and Maitlan,”         Zeph was saying.        “Be saying next Mel's gay.” Hass appeared to take that seriously.
“You know, I'm sure if he was, he'd say so.   I mean, this is a civilized country.
No-one would mind.”
“There wouldn't be any heirs and successors,” said Zeph.     “Who's next, Hass?
Pietri, right.     And if the older generation had gone to a better place Vij.” “Just don’t say the Silver Homeland!”
“Field of flowers.        I think that is just beautiful.”

“Don’t worry about it!” said Hass. “What, the field of flowers?”
“The succession!         Mel adores kids.          He’s going to have loads of them.” “Better not let you anywhere near them.”
“Guy,” said someone, “you really need to appreciate freedom of speech.     It’s why you’re still living.”
“Everyone knows they can’t keep their hands off kids.” “Do we?”
“We have big shiny hospitals,” said Zeph. “There’s one over in Carabatin. Most cases, you’re polite about people who are mentally ill. Some of them are just nutters. You really want a referral.”
“Hostile audience, dude.        You’re not making any friends here.”
“I suppose ‘everyone knows’ straight men can’t keep their hands off kids,” said Zeph.      “You want to read the papers some time.”
“Bet Mitch could tell you about that case in the City couple of months ago, whole ring of them.   All Cult.”
“Like Maya said,” said Zeph. “They’re the real pervs.          Need their heads rewiring.”
“Shall we get back to the Theme for the Day?” asked Hass. “Mind you, I’m not sure.        It’s either poor Smudge or Sarat as Narulis!”
“Can’t say he hasn’t got the balls!”
Hass wisely refused to be drawn on the subject of Sarat’s balls.
“Oy, Effers, I may be a Fidubi kid who kept hamsters but I am Narulis’ heir!” “No-one,” said Hass, “ever thought Sarat was shy and retiring.”
LIVE FROM GULA-TOON!
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
“Naturally,” said the Cile, “Ciletij supports the integrity of  creative endeavour and the rightful exercise of individual liberty and we trust this man and all who share his terrible plight will be speedily released.      We can, however, only express our sorrow at repeatedly ill-chosen words by clearly headstrong and ill-informed young people some barely out of                   school! Indeed, we note Sarat ban-essa's admirable enthusiasm for the biosphere.        We cannot conceive how our good friends in Dabida permitted this performance.               There can of course be no question of the Aniles interfering in the internal affairs of the sovereign nation Kadun other than in what is the duty of us all in the Quadrant, the prevention of gross miscarriages of justice. I do not think I need to remind Ciletij of the true meaning of the Anile throne.”
And an immediate response from Carlin, Sarat - no, oh my word, PANTHER! “Zur knows us,” said Baz.            “Fidub knows us.        Now everyone knows us!        Isn’t
that cool.         We’re PANTHER \and we’ve been in Kadun slightly longer than forever. What some people need to remember is whatever it was, whenever it was, we were there.”
“The PANTHER version,” said Paw  “It's in ancient-speak and when it's not it's in irturbi ancient-speak so may somewhat suffer in translation.   Ye greate evil among the trees, nature unidentified.  A fire was lit to smoke it out.   The wind changed direction, the trees went up like tinder and a thousand years later we are still paying with earfuls of Ciletij crap.”

“You have to ask yourself,” said Baz, “even if Asyrion had been evil – why on earth would she have travelled across the whole of Kadun to personally order the massacre of a handful of Ciletij.         If she wanted to burn people, there were plenty nearer by!  All the evidence is the rest of Kadun was clean.        I understand the once again the Cult came to the west from Harn argument.  Small snag, Asyrion was in the east.”
“Put those two things together,” said Paw.     “Just use your brains and ask yourselves what could have summoned the empress o’er leagues without measure - would have taken weeks, if not the Seetles from Harn.   Cult.    CTTL, stands for Change The Third Letter. Our archives are open to historians and other interested parties.        Every reputable centre of learning says the matter is open.   The Houses have their own records. Van-senok cared for the survivors.        How were there any survivors if there’d been a massacre?
And now we have to interrupt Baz there because this is special, this is coming direct to us from Van-senok,            this is -what is this!
A chalet in the forest, a lot of guys and girls with machine-pistols. A guy of about 40 “Sabit.        Head of Sardun.            We fight.         Mel Talal at least is informed and intelligent.
As for the fool in Gula-Toon - does he not read his intelligence briefings.   The whole of the Ciletij military is a target for Cunt infiltration. A lead is taken and he listens only to those who wish Ciletij neutralized, allied with Azt against the south.            They sit there, the big-wigs, the fat-cats, dribbling to each other.       They do not risk their lives, their souls. They do not live wild in the forest. Indeed, they do not die in the torture-chambers of the Cult, though that is only rarely, since we are very, very good.
“Many of us in peace have good friends in Ciletij.     We share a common and inhospitable environment, the lore of snow and wind, of wolf and bear and lynx.           But they are not their leaders and their leaders assuredly lead Ciletij to disaster.
“It is as Var-sega’ said.           Only by taking Azt can the hebade garalis be cleared from this continent. Ingat-re Carla?                       Carlin has answered.   Ingat-re Var-sega?      Var-sega’ has answered.            We too in Van senok answer. We of course have actually been in Kadun slightly longer than forever.            We have learned to appreciate PANTHER, nonetheless -
Sorry, Baz mouthed at the screen
Without them night would have fallen.                      Without PANTHER, there would be no Carlin, there would be no Var-sega’, only ashes and the grave.      Without PANTHER this day’s events would have been impossible.      Everything is owed to
Choit-ban-varna-eban-Narulis, who heads PANTHER, and everything must be given. The fools in Gula-Toon deserve to die in the torture-chambers of the geralis.   Alas, the implications for the continent if Ciletij falls are too great.        That is all.
Hang on, thought Seani, the world has already stopped.
Mel raised his hand for silence.          The babbling slowly lessened. “Where to start!”
“Here,” said As.          “Fe-Barsinge, ingat-re Carla? Fe-Narulis calusissa Carla.
Ban-narulin Carla varsavian cilerat. My lord Barsinge, what says Carlin? To us in trust Narulis gave Carlin. It is our honour to serve Narulis' heir.”
“Cho heads PANTHER!         What is this crap!” “PANTHER are Fidubi State Security!”
“No, we’re not,” said Baz.      “It’s rather a long story.”

“You have to remember the Kadun cock-up,” said Paw. “What in tarnation is the Kadun cock-up!”
“What,” said Sarat, “do you think is the Kadun cock-up!”
“Right,” said Baz, “let’s jump in at the deep end.      Sardun are correct.      They always are.         Right from the start we, PANTHER, said, Azt is not the problem.  G-T is the problem.     Heads in the sand.”
Seani thought: I am somewhere between suavely murmuring, this is a turn-up and screaming.
“These are Narulis’ and Zani’s heirs. They are against the Cult.       Got that?         We have evidence.            We gave a copy to ISS.” Ciletij Internal State Security.
“It is not Sarat’s problem the bigwigs don’t read their intelligence briefings.”
Varchulan darling examined his Minister of Defence, who looked grey.      Did he also look guilty?          A plot to set us against each other?        If we do not trust PANTHER, who is there left?                    But PANTHER are hand in glove with Ban-varna.           He did the only thing left to do; he rang Vanya.
Baz got into his stride.
“An intelligent analysis of the scenario would look like this. I take it we all know what the continent looks like.     OK, borders have been fixed for 600 years.   Nobody moves because nobody has anywhere to move to. And we’re all happy little bunnies, that’s just the way we like it, right.   However much Ciletij loathes Kadun, then, now, whatever, Ciletij isn’t going to invade Kadun because Kadun is bigger than she is and would eat her alive.                 However much the current regime in Azt, or past ones, loathes Ciletij, Azt isn’t going to invade Ciletij because Dabida, Vasucula and Fidub would come up from the south.         Bye-bye, Kadun. Now the current regime in Azt doesn’t like anybody, especially southern-type people.       So what would happen if it thought of invading the south, which by the way we think it did, past tense, to attempt to wipe out the sworn enemies of the Cult, destroy A-M, destroy the shrine at M-P.    It won’t happen but they can dream.                   Two things.     One of course is The First Event, which they can’t do anything about.            The other is the prospect of Ciletij coming to the aid of her noble allies in the Quadrant and turning Azt to rubble.  Which they can do something about.”
“I think perhaps - dear world,” said Mel. “Evil grin.”
“Now, dear world, once upon a time there was a guy called Jaizal.   This guy Jaizal didn’t like Fidub and he sent an army south to conquer her, but the army didn’t like the guy Jaizal, did not like him at all, and so this guy Jaizal’s army joined with Fidub - oh, and a guy called Zani - and they defeated Jaizal.”
“Turning now,” said Baz, “to my renowned lecture on geopolitics, which actually wasn’t what I was going to say, Mel of course lives in impregnable fortress Dabida.
Geography is a wonderful thing.        If it’s not the Great Divide it’s vertical cliffs. In ye days of yore, they scrambled across.        In days of now, the Dabidan Army’s on the other side. OK, now the chances of the south being invaded by Azt are pretty well nil and falling.                Which is not to say they might not try to take Carlin and some of us at least have our heads screwed on and are alert to the fact that all hell might break loose at any time.          I would remind you all we are not in the sovereign state of Carlin, we are in what Azt thinks is hers.           However, they could try it via Vaudos.          Wouldn’t get them anywhere, but they could try.

“So let’s move to Act Two.    Sarat, Mitch, As are in Azt. Act Two mostly depends on the maybe Imperial Army.  If it’s virtually solid and Ciletij loathing of the empire makes her doing something silly, then we just ask them politely if they’ve lost their way, maybe give them a coffee for the return trip.    OK, one of the stupider ways to conduct foreign policy is to embrace your enemy’s enemy as your friend, even if you do hate each other guts.   If people are going to be silly, and I really can’t believe either our noble allies in the Quadrant or the gallant men of the maybe Imperial Army are going to be that silly, but however.              Nearly left something out.                  We’re not silly, either.            We know that there are people who aren’t so keen on democracy or women or gays who are still on the right side of sane and not Cult. Such as Colonel Challin, maybe. It’s not what you think, it’s what you do. You might in principle think - oh, I don’t know.        Women shouldn’t be doctors.             The thing is does that matter to you when you’re sick.     Most conservative guys I’ve met, the answer is no!               The less intelligent ones of course can be and are readily manipulated by the Cult.         If the maybe Imperial Army is not solid or virtually, both Cult and non-Cult in Kadun and both Cult and non-Cult in Ciletj may fall into each other’s arms to fight the empire.         That would not be good.         That would be a pity.
Blokes would end up dead.
“Only staying in the Quadrant can keep Ciletij clean and of course if Azt did try the south because Ciletij assured her she’d sit that one out, I really don’t think we’d love her any more.        In fact, only Sarat in Azt driving the Cult out of Kadun can keep Ciletij clean. Kadun is essentially in a state of civil war. The only way war can come to any of the rest of us is through the actions or inactions of Ciletij.      I would like to think I am being heard.”
Ciletij Chief of Staff Bris turned slowly from the screen.
Hearing you loud and clear, pussy, hearing you loud and clear.        Isolated, vulnerable, do we believe the south would come to our defence? Therefore accommodation
The Cabinet of Vasucula was in extraordinary session. “Do we actually want to stop it?”
“Not a lot.”
“We are of course much closer to Dabida.”
“We can't stand damn' Ciletij any more than anyone else can!” “That may be a little exaggerated.    They are a democracy.” “Don't forget we all love them really.”
“That is a guy who loves the skagga.”
“Sure, the influence of the Houses – there are other determining factors.” “If they had no damn' influence, they would not still be there.”
“One or two other things, such as they clearly reckon they speak for the folks back home.”
“Mum and Dad clearly included?”
“What do you notice? I notice there is nothing in these guys suggesting they feel they speak out of turn.”
“That's class, man.”
“That is they do not feel they speak out of turn!”
“We have to ask ourselves to what extent we too – irturbi do not need democracy.” “We have to ask ourselves to what extent – certain things given, men and women
alike content with the status quo.        The face of women in Kadun is that?”

“Karula ban-sarndit-vaq.” “And Maya Talal!!” Meanwhile on the ocean blue...
F (by now surrounded, but politely, while somewhere yonder, an equally polite distance away, are vessels Dabidan and Fidubi): Isn’t this fun!
K1: We find it fascinating. K2: Never have liked bears. F: How about cats?
K3: Curious creatures.
F: Vital in the country.            Keep down the rats. K2: Especially in old houses.
F: Are you interested in architecture?
K1: It’s so much a question of one’s heritage. “PANTHER, Baz!            What is this garbage?”
“Rent-a-cat,” said Paw.          “PANTHER lend themselves to Fidub to do what PANTHER think requires doing. If Fidub requires something different, she must find someone else to do it.”
“When the empire went ack-over, we starved.           Not good times.           The empire had paid us.          The empire stopped paying us.      Some of the guys were well-off in their own right and helped out.   Some of them    had ordinary jobs.       Some of them took any work they could get. People stopped paying attention to us.    We’d been the emperor’s representatives. Or else they suspected us of still being the emperor's representatives!
People didn't join because they were scared of being associated with us.     We’d had the moral authority of the emperor.                Remember that, Varchulan darling. Suppose you were PANTHER and you came across a few dudes planning something for Kinsquol and a lot more people just a little scared and you said something like, I command you cease and desist in the emperor's name!     It meant something to people.            PANTHER are not and never were an army.  We just don't have the numbers.         Consequently when the entire infrastructure was stacked against us, things got a little hairy. After the defeat of Jaizal we limped back to Fidub to rethink.         Twist a few arms, rethink.      The House of Fire really did not want to know that Sonny had screwed up.      PANTHER in Fidub were not impressed by that. We reached a few basic conclusions about ourselves and sat down to rethink the whole PANTHER thing.     There's a job to be done and we can do it. Not if we're starving. First and foremost, we set about making ourselves financially secure.
PANTHER pay PANTHER.  Second, and nearly as foremost, we don't provide freebies. Cho pays for the protection of his family and certain other things, refunds.     PANTHER in Kadun are paid by PANTHER.            If it's the business of the Republic of Fidub, the Fidubi government pays, so Fidub pays for the protection of the government and things like that.”
“That just answers so many of my questions!” said Karula.  “Two things are generally held.          That PANTHER was not able to stop the rise of the Cult historically. That after the defeat of Jaizal PANTHER destroyed the Cult.      These did not seem to totally make sense. The rot set in because PANTHER were starving!          PANTHER were starving because the rot set in!
“Faun is Head of Fidub State Security,” said a journo, feeling this at least was firm ground.

“Faun is PANTHER. PANTHER pay Faun and claw it back from Fidub.    Faun’s job is - “ He shrugged. “ - Head of Fidub State Security, where the buck stops if Airoch’s safe is burgled or something!”
“But who is Head of PANTHER?”
“Faun, Cho, no-one.    It depends.      Mostly the guys on the ground in Kadun work things out for themselves. If it’s purely admin - computer’s eaten my salary - Faun heads the admin side. If it’s something that’s got a political dimension, it ends up with Faun and Cho.        We’re Narulis’ cub.                Always have been, always will be.      The Anile throne has a symbolic meaning, whether there’s anyone on it or not.            I could put that better. Va, the Silver Homeland stuff, if I haven’t said a naughty word.      Death does not sit on the Anile throne.”
“This is doing my head in!”
I suspect, thought Mitch, it’s doing mine in too. Essa said: “One-way trip.”
“I think so,” said Cho.
Maya had reached the same conclusion The throng was parting to let a car through, Mel’s navy-blue petrol guzzler, in fact.           Maya got out.
“I brought my toothbrush.”
Sarat wrapped his arms around her. Don’t they make a lovely couple! Still no response from Azt.
K2: May we ask a personal question. F: I shall not say fire ahead.
K2: How many of you are persons of the feminine gender? F: About half.
K2: Including the aircrew? F: Yes.
K2: FAF has a certain reputation.
K7: I saw them at the Round-the-Islands Race.         A spectacular display.. K2: I gather more recently.
K3: Gentlemen of the Imperial Air Fleet, I understand. F: Ladies and gentlemen.       We are, yes.
K2:      At least...
F: The wearing of Kadun uniform would have been a little difficult. K2: For the moment?
F:         That rather depends.
F to Base. Extreme courtesy. Civilized conversation. It is not meaningless but no idea of the meaning, where it’s going.   Maybe they don’t know either!   Out of range in all senses.    Could be Corsin playing with a mouse but why?
Base to F: You need to get aboard. F to Base.           I figured it.
LIVE FROM AZT!
A woman in a black evening dress gathered the papers on her desk preparing to speak.      A voice off said, “Most elegant, my dear.          Silver, dreadfully common.”   “As for the hair!” said another voice.
Cantilip extended her nails like a panther unsheathing her claws.

The woman appeared to notice she was on camera. “Pros,” muttered Mitch.
“The Spider,” nearly spat Karula. “Cult?” asked Maya.
“Certainly Cult,” said Mitch. “And the third letter,” said As. “Ssssh!”
“Good evening.           It is our understanding there have been certain theatricals in Zur concerning the arrest of an artist.      Clearly my lord Var-sega' has a remarkable talent for marketing      My lords, my ladies, it hardly becomes you, admirable though is your concern for the creative arts.            It appears His Highness has extraordinary friends. Of course we shall release Smudge.         His more formal works, shall we say, are a credit to Kadun and we are neither barbarians nor fools.    Nor, may I say, are we devoid of a sense of humour, a great human quality, to be able to laugh at oneself.
“We feel it only just to repay Dabida for the pleasure of the sheepdog by displaying two of the works for which Smudge was so stupidly arrested.
“We trust governance by grown-ups may now prevail.          Really, children, return to your play-pens!            Your homework, indeed.                    Coursework I presume.. Not of course that you need concern yourselves about future employment. How touching, the concern of Sohenoil and AMI for the poor. My lords, my ladies, they wish their fine houses palaces of the people, a redistribution of capital?       I think not.      My lords, my ladies, your estates await you.
“As to water-borne parasites, we find generally that such unfortunate infestations float in on the tide from Fidub.  We at least would not stoop to examining the affairs of Madam President, financial and otherwise, but certainly we do not hesitate to ask what benefit Sohenoil and AMI might think to accrue from this mad charade.                       I believe in commercial circles there is a saying: all publicity is good publicity?            Really, this nonsense about women.   Do I look oppressed? I thought better of my lady Var-sega’ A little gratitude is perhaps in order.      Indeed she attended the Schools and what enabled a woman of really rather humble origins so to do but a government scholarship.            Are such the actions of an oppressive and misogynist State.  You must decide.                    We must of course distinguish between a simple equality between men and women and the somewhat febrile doctrines of Van-senok.         We state plainly the common belief of humanity: children require care.          That that care is best provided by their mothers we think unexceptionable.      Who does not? Or my lady Var-sega’ indulged her flair for marketing, my lord house-husband, I believe the term current in the south?        It is my misfortune to have no children - “
“Probably eat them,” muttered Mitch.
“ - but certainly I should consider the cultivation of growing minds a more rewarding occupation indeed than addressing the follies we have seen today.         Surely the purpose of schooling is preparation for adulthood.       We do not for a moment deny we think boys and girls have different needs.           That is not to say the intellectual content of the curriculum should differ.          Or my lady Var-sega’ thinks joinery more taxing than the chemistry of nutrition or balancing the household budget?
“We do not deny the existence of poverty in Kadun. We must ask ourselves how plausible it is my lords, my ladies surrender their power for good, or indeed bend the knee

to a rusting throne. Sohenoil perhaps in financial difficulty, Ban-varna wishes former imperial property in Azt, now of course the property of the people, our common heritage? We do not know. But we are not fools and assuredly this is a charade.
And – Cho – laughed. “Worth waiting for.”
“I am a non-person,” said Sarat.         “Apart from being a parasite!” “Interesting in itself.            What can we do with it?”
“And me,” said Maya.
“You’re the youngest,” offered Mel. “Where’s my playpen?”
“I would think Dabida is not swayed by attack on Tar’s niece.”
“To appeal to nationalism would be to accept the empire is even a possibility.” “You’re the biologist,” said As.
“A positive parasite!” “Symbiosis?”
“If we ask ourselves,” said Mitch, “why not attack Sarat?”
“What do they not want to talk about,” said Cantilip.            “Death on the Anile throne.” “To put the image of desecration on line is to risk a screenshot.”
“To put The Spider on line.” “That’s my chair,” said Sarat.
“I think in this instance,” said Mitch, “the target-audience is essentially irturbi.       It does not matter that most in the south will not recognize the more illustrious members of the government in Azt.”
“Just popping out,” said Sarat.
“Ah, and here is Sarat, I do not doubt come to respond to Azt!”
“Me?               I’m a non-person.        Just perfecting my impersonation of a water-borne parasite. I don’t think Madam Minister is a biologist. I guess it’s true girls don’t get taught science in Kadun.        I think she’s confusing parasitism with symbiosis.
Symbiosis is where two organisms get together for the benefit of both.” Even the Ciletij Representative at Zur laughed.
“It’s really interesting,” Sarat continued enthusiastically.      “For instance, there’s a really no-account fungus called coradium. It’s quite pretty to look at, green and mossy, but really what does it, can it, do?  The point is it secretes an enzyme. Beetles lay their eggs in it and the enzyme enables the eggs to hatch.          Of course it’s a fungus so it doesn’t think, great, lots of strong healthy young beetles.”
“All right,” admitted Vrin.     “I am in stitches.” “Wonderful thing, nature,” murmured Karci.
“What, I hear you cry, does coradium get out of this biologically? The baby beetles get covered in its spores and when they go out into the world they spread the spores.
Spores are pretty tough little guys. Sometimes they’re carried by wind and sometimes by water.    Obviously they can be picked up by people’s shoes or by tyres.    Whatever. I think that’s what she meant.”
“I doubt it!”
“What about Sohenoil, Sarat?” “Cho’s surely rolling!”
“Spoilt striplings of the privileged classes.”

“I did not say that.      You have to admit there is an element.” “AMI is a problem to Zur?” asked Sarat.
“Nor did I say that!” “Didn’t you?”
“My uncle works for AMI.     Loves it.”
“What’s the point?” asked Sarat.        “Mel mooches into Sorito’s.   Sabi - “ The bar-tender.          “ - has a whole lot less money than Mel. And?”
“I guess no-one in Zur is really poor, like Kadun poor.”
“A bunch of rich kids,” said Sarat, “don’t think anyone should be really poor.        Is that by any chance familiar?”
“That’s one thing.       Big capital is something else. New markets.  Investment opportunities.”
“Killings to be made?”
“I’d have to be pretty dumb to deny that,” said Sarat.            “What you have to look at is what we want to kill.      The Cult owns the banks in the City.             The banks in the City own half Kadun. OK, finance, I’m really in my playpen.        I have a really good financial adviser.                        If we hold the Kadun economy, we can get the banks out.   Sure there’’d be southern capital in their place.         You do need to think a bit.                   If all southern capital was after was a quick buck, why isn’t it investing in Kadun now, when the overheads are so much lower.            Just about the first thing we want to do is put up wages.            There’s a whole range of things that are costs to employers. They’re so standard here in the south it doesn’t occur to business to think they’re extras.       Ooh, ooh, Sohenoil has bought Brantin Steel.            And what does it find itself doing, having to rebuild every foundry, pay for every worker to have adequate safety gear?”
“Then you’re saying businesses could go bust.          You’ll put people out of work.” “Not a chance,” said Sarat.   “Of course one of the things that’ll squeeze the banks
is smaller profits.        Co-operatives are one thing.   If there’s one place that’s really rolling, it’s the Republic of Kadun.        Kadun is rich, rich, rich and of course one of the reasons  why is she doesn’t spend on healthcare and all the rest of it.           Everyone knows AMI and Sohenoil do profit-sharing, everyone knows all the workers get heard and everyone
knows why. People prefer to have a stake in their jobs.         OK, apart from the human cost of unemployment, isn’t it better for the State to offer start-up capital so the workers can sort the company out themselves.      State loans to small businesses genuinely struggling.
That’s a moral decision not a financial one, of course.          Anyone with Cult links gets zilch. Apart from anything else, there are incredible amounts of work to be done in Kadun.
Wiring, plumbing, building, fixing.  It’d be crazy to have anyone out of work.   Maybe the State employs them - that’s pretty standard too. If you get a pothole in the highway, you don’t call a private firm. Other things, sure southern investment.”
“People of The Times!” proclaimed Seani.     “I think this just might be real.” “They’ve thought about it,” said Venzat.
“Oh yes,” said Seani.  “They’ve thought about it.” Mitch materialized by Sarat’s side.
“I have one thing to add.        Make that two.            Who knows, it could be three?           Capital is power.            It is by no means the only manifestation of power.    Being dragged from one’s home on a trumped-up charge springs to mind.      As does equally having the ear of the entire world.   We do not delude ourselves that were we the kids in Sarat’s class you

would be hanging on our every word.                        Power is the capacity to commit evil and equally the capacity to stop or prevent evil.          Power is neutral and so is capital.       When I was 17 I wanted to give the whole lot away but really, what would that have achieved, other than to render me powerless and penniless.                     I saw that with power and capital I could change things.       The buzz-word is transparent.                 If people do not know what capital is doing, they cannot object to it.           Up in The Room is an elderly gentleman who I am sure enjoys watching the children play.     I know one thing, which is indeed quite possibly all I need to know.       If you were to ask Choit-ban-varna-eban-Narulis about his affairs - have I just realized what I just said? Perhaps I should rephrase that? 1.      He would completely accept your right to ask.          2.                     He would not think it conceivable to shrink from responding.            Oh and 3.        Except he probably wouldn’t bother because the fully audited accounts of Sohenoil are on line. Together with, I may add, to my considerable delectation, his personal finances, including monies made over to Sarat, monies paid to PANTHER.       Have I not said, we are calm, we are resolute, we are informed - and oh, we are prepared!         Perhaps if you have questions after you have perused the facts?            If on the hand you were to pry into the affairs of bankers in the City, you would probably end up at the bottom of the river.                        Have I just said Searc is a murderer?  I shall repeat it.
More than one financial journalist has met an unexpected death.     A particularly tragic case concerned a young female environmental activist indeed, though undoubtedly considerably more naive than certain other environmental activists.          She thought she could get certain factories shut down.         It seems the poor girl hanged herself.                 Nothing is ever said.   No charges are brought.          No investigations are carried out in order than charges may be brought.     And that is in the City.            I do not think you have reason to think Kadun in any way superior. The creature who addressed us from Azt.        Our pet name for her is The Spider.        You do not surround her in the Colonnade and                      demand she elaborate on her remarks on capital.            Nor or course do you mock the lamentable lacunae in her knowledge of biology - despite of course its being a great human quality to be able to laugh at oneself. Here in Zur, in one of the most vigorous democracies in the world, we appear to be having an argument over which is the better system.                        I have to say I find that extremely bizarre.     I guess we have to thank our friends in Ciletij.”
“They have always said,” remarked the President of Vasucula, “watch Var-sega’.  I cannot imagine why.”
The Times’s leading cartoonist was heard feverishly remarking, “What eats spiders?
Does anyone know any damn’ biology?” “Ask Sarat.”
Mitch hadn’t quite finished.
“By the way, if you ask why The Spider, it is rumoured that she ate her partner, if not literally, then mentally, emotionally.    Madam Minister is not something you would wish to meet on a dark night; Madam Minister is not something with whom you willingly share the same planet.    As Asdinan so rightly said, indeed she is Cult.    It is also useful to change the third letter.”
“Language, diddums, language!” murmured Sorg.
Everyone said that Mitch had just burned his boats, if he hadn’t already.     The only way he was going to see Var-segan again was in a tank flying the imperial standard. He was either supremely confident or completely potty.
Meanwhile on the ocean blue...

K7: Many people are profoundly arachnophobic. F:  Spider-bites can be nasty.
K7:      Anti-venin should be carried at all times.
Naturally the airwaves twittered on about Sarat.                    Well, he hasn’t done the o loyal irturbi hearken unto me bit, has he.     He’s 18.           It’d be dumb and he knows it.            Or alternatively: doesn’t have to, does he. He’s behaving like a team player.     Why not indeed.                     Whatever he is, he isn’t stupid.                        Between them, Mitch, Asdinan and Cantilip are a walking encyclopedia.    The only problem with that is they essentially acknowledge he’s leader of the pack.     Well, Cho is.   Whatever.        What we know for sure is he’s a Fidubi kid who doesn’t keep his mouth shut.            That is bad enough without being who he is! WYSIWYG for sure.                    As for Mitch!              Where has that guy been?       Cantilip.                        The maybe emperor’s future stewards are so far outside what we might have thought.                   Well, that goes for a lot of things!      That guy from Sardun was scary!       He’s fighting a war, man.            Zesh, man, I even found Baz and Paw scary! We’re so used to - what do we think, just because they’re looking after Cho’s baa-lamb they aren’t real PANTHER.   I think we have to understand something here.    Something like add two years to their numerical age.            They grew up faster, exposed to more.            Exposed to people.      I guess those years in the Saa’anda Senta really paid off!
Karula held court in the conservatory.
“As has been said, contact between Fidub and Kadun along our east coast long predated Narulis. When guys whose belief-system was the power of the earth arrived on islands not only powerful but vocal, they naturally regarded them as their spiritual home. What is fascinating is the critical role of silver.     I know it is all myth, but that myth dominated a more superstitious age. Silver was seen as a kind of universal warder-off of evil. Fidub believed she was           clean because of her silver-lodes and the singing of the Isles came from the native silver.          In myth silver destroys evil.    In fact, it's an
anti-bacterial.  It's really easy to see that the medical use of silver could have been seen as magic. We have silver, but for some reason we didn't know it.            If there is one thing Fidub taught us it is the mining, refining and casting of silver. I was researching the Dacunine          Window! Silver was and is used in the making of stained glass, particularly the yellows and golds.”