Extract from The Anile Heir © 2006.I, Ysabel Jehan Howard, hereby assert and give notice of my right under s.77 of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act1988 to be identified as the author of this book
 
Somewhere people were screaming and shouting but Sarat stood still as stone. 
So cold.  Hurts
Together they passed through the pain.
CLICK CLICK CLICK
I we grieve at parting.
NO and yes.  You cannot follow.
Varulin was by his side. 
“That’s it, lad.  You hold on to her….”  His voice trailed off.  Oh fuck, no!  “Get a fucking car here!”
The light was very strong now.
Leave? How can I leave you?
“You just hold her, sir,” said Varulin gently.  “That’s it.  No-one can hurt her now.”
I will follow.
NO and yes.
Baz zoomed up.
They cannot part us.
We travel now.
Everyone is screaming but Sarat stands still as stone.  Baz understood.
NO.
Sarat tried to throw Baz out of his their mind.
Baz forced them apart. 
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
“Fuck off!” said Baz.  “Just fuck bloody off!”
 “It’s like bloody rape!” shouted Varulin.
“Is she - ?”
“Dead,” said Baz.  “Got it?”
Sarat came to with Maya’s lifeless body in his arms in sudden silence.
He looked at Baz almost in puzzlement.
“She’s not here any more.”
CLICK CLICK CLICK
They stood waiting for transport to bulldoze its way through the wreckage.
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK. CLICK
 
We interrupt this broadcast.
MAYA DEAD
MAYA ASSASSINATED
MAYA  MURDERED
SHE DIED IN HIS ARMS
 
Contingency Plan (M) not Contingency Plan (S).  Essa and Cho would stay out of Kadun. He’ll need help. What else are sisters for?
 
Essa tried to get Sarat on his mobile.  No reply.
“It has happened,” said Baya.  Toss a coin.  Pray.  The music will stop.  Which one will it be?
I have four children, she thought, I still have four children.  Why do I not cry for shame?
 
Essa got Baz.  Baz handed over the mobile.
“Sarat.”
“Oh dad.”
“Love,” said Essa, “love, love, love, love.”
“Love,” said Sarat.
“Oh my darling,” said Baya. “Love, love, love.”
 
Mel rode down the hill and into the Saa’nda Senta.
“It has happened,” he said.
Mel, we’re so sorry.  Mel, all our love.
 
Mitch  would have grown wings, but Karula said no.  We offer our love, we offer ourselves but we do not go to Azt, Mitch, because we are not family. Mitch rang and Sarat said please come.
 
Scenes of devastation in Azt!  Ten dead, including Her Imperial Majesty, Maya-ban-essa.  Forty, fifty, sixty wounded. 
 
Sarat stood up.
“You do not have to go back!” shouted Paw.
“What do you suggest?  I sit here and scream?”
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK. 
 
“I’m sorry, sir, you can’t go through there.”
“I am Maya’s father.”
“Sir!  I am so sorry, so sorry.  Sarat’s gone back to the – scene.”
Pietri closed his eyes.
“Where is Maya?”
Pietri sat talking quietly to his daughter.
 
Three beautiful young women ran up and threw themselves on Sarat.  Oh Sarat, my poor darling! Love, love, love, love, love!  He hugged them heedless of bemused spectators.
“My sisters,” said Sarat.
“Sarat, this is a terrible day for you, for all of us – “
“It was a pretty bad day for Maya.”
“Sure, sure, I did not mean – “
“Just shut it,” said Sarat.  “Just for once, shut it.”
“Vultures,” said Zik.
“Try feeding on us,” said Shavli.
“I don’t think we’ll ever forgive you today,” said Ven,  “How could you!”
“What d’ you think Pietri and Caluna felt like?” asked Zik.
“Maya’s mum and dad,” supplemented Ven.
Many people who have often thought that Sarat, his family and friends let the press off too easily too often have gained enormous satisfaction from this simple expression of family outrage…
 
We interrupt this broadcast.
His Imperial Majesty will speak from the scene of the blast.  .
Sarat-ban-essa-eban-Narulis, Master of Kadun.
 
I think you’d better come, sir.  Sarat’s going to speak.
Bal looked on in horror.
He is still….
Covered in her blood.
 
There is a time to mourn, a time to scream, a time to weep.  All these things I owe my darling Maya.  Most of all I owe the refusal of defeat.  They have changed nothing.  They have won nothing.   Death does not sit on the Anile throne!  To the offal responsible for today’s devastation, to the vermin in the City who back them, to the snivelling animals who cower before them, I say, you can create nothing, but only destroy.  Today you leave a trail of wrecked and broken lives.  That you call a victory.  Thus you show the world your impotence. You cannot win.  You will never win.  This I pledge to Kadun.  This I pledge to Maya.
 
Mitch caught at the airport by the meedjah raised his hand in salute.
“We do not do cowering.”
“You yourself have suffered terrible loss.  How is Sarat feeling?”
It’s like robots, thought Karula.  They are not bad people.  They have no self-awareness. 
 
Sarat arrived back and stared at the  flowers carpeting the people-space,   
“I thank you,” he said shakily.  “On Maya’s behalf, on my own.  Thank you.”
“Pietri,” said Faun.  He pointed to the bedroom.
Pietri looked up.
“Everyone needs to go home.”
Sarat blinked back tears.
“They’ve brought you flowers, my love.  A whole field of flowers.”
Pietri stood.
“We’ll leave you to sleep now.”
“I am so sorry,” said Sarat.  “I am so sorry.  I was with her.  I was going with her.   Baz forced us apart.”  Pietri opened his arms.  “She was hurting and I wanted to stop her hurting but we were already through the pain.  I just wanted to stop her hurting.   We didn’t see how we could part.”
“Oh my dear boy,” said Pietri. 
“Somewhere – somewhere else people were shouting and screaming.  It didn’t have anything to do with us.  I hurt Baz,” said Sarat with horror.  “Oh I don’t mean.  He was trying to separate us.”
Pietri went to the door and asked for strong coffee.
“The funeral,”  he said finally.
“The funeral,” said Sarat.
They talked for a long time.  After a while, Faun was summoned.
No, Sarat, said Faun, knowing it was useless.
I pledge victory, I pledge courage to  skulk in a covered car?
Sarat rang Marula and Saryulin .  Of course, they said.
You can’t be buried twice, thought Faun.  Perhaps all of it is impossible, a nightmare from which we wake when we are all dead.
Faun rang Cho.
“Or of course he simply doesn’t care.”
“I am aware of that interpretation,” said Cho.
“I’ve said my bit,” said Faun.
 
Pietri mailed Mel and told him the  unphotographed trauma of Maya’s final moments.
Mel thought of him and Cantilip and hundreds of meaningless words on the subject of death.
I think, he mailed back, not of course know, but think, it wasn’t exactly – when she finally ‘crossed over’ he’d have been left behind.  Was he going with her or keeping her here?
If they were communicating, he thought, she wasn’t ‘dead’, whatever that is.  There must be a state beyond biological – leave it, Mel, leave it.  Or you become obsessed by death.  But Papa, he won’t leave us alone. 
 
Baz looked up.
“Oh Baz.”
“Love, love, love,” said Baz.
“Love, love, love.”
“What does a man expect when he tries to come between a guy and his girl?”
“Was I keeping her here?”  
“Sarat…In that situation – not that I  know anything about ‘that situation’ – what  I think is – for a moment I couldn’t tell which was you and which was Maya.  I don’t think you can look at it like that.  You both wanted to go in both directions.”
“Yes,” said Sarat. “And no.  She – there’s a point,”  She wanted to go, thought Baz. It’s not how to put it.  You go back.  What do I know?  “When – will fades,” Sarat was saying. 
“You just are,” said Baz, “in a field of flowers.”
 
 The terror and the loss.  I’ll come back with Pietri, be in Zur in the morning.  Love, love, love, love, love.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, typed back Mel. 
 
Small, tubby and balding glared at the screen.
“We have VILE, we have PANTHER, we have the Hadin-Wadud. What does this mean?”
“Don’t follow you, sir.”
“Try harder.  How many more damn’ deaths?”
“Protection.  A line of steel.”
“You have entered a Cult-free Zone.  And the very considerable resources of our three great nations were used to ensure it stayed that way.  Meaning Kadun was a contaminant.”
“The border’s open now, sir.”
“Well done, that man.  Meaning we have a vested interest in decontamination.”
“You cannot say Vasucula sat on the fence!”
“I surely can.  I surely do.  We tighten up any on the money-men?”
“We are a capitalist economy.  There are no lengths to which we shall not go to foster global investment, maximum prosperity for all and the brutal murder of a beautiful young woman.”
“That’s what I just said.  Get the bastards.”
 
“The Anile Emperor does not plead,” said the Ciletij Finance Minister.
“In his state,” said Varchulan darling, “he doesn’t have to.”
 
Sarat spoke to Mitch and Karula.  Of course, said Mitch.  Karula hid her disarray.  Only in the safety of their bedroom did she say to her beloved: Mitch, I know this is trivial in the great scheme of things, but if I am not to make a total fool of myself and of Var-segan on what is probably the most solemn occasion of my entire life – you know I never got the hang of horses.
 
“Now we’re going to the House of Silence,” said Baz, “and we would really appreciate it if you didn’t come.”
“You here to make arrangements for the funeral, Sarat?”
“I despair,” said Mitch.  “I am not talking to human beings.  If I may quote Baz – “ Long pause.  Mitch gave his sweetest smile.  “Remove yourselves from Sarat’s path.”
“That’s it,” said Baz, oozing charm. “Go away.”
“The sensitivity of oysters,” said Mitch.
“Is that a compliment, Mitch?”
“Real fine rugs,” said Mitch.
Sarat made his way relatively unimpeded to the House of Silence.
“Bloody walking-streets,” muttered Varulin.
“If I bring the car round, we can get away after,” said Baz.
Sarat stood in front of the flame.  Where you are, there am I.  Where I go, you are with me.  We shall win, my sweet lady, my love.  They do not part us.
He lit a candle, then took out a pen and wrote on a card.
My darling Maya, I love you.  Sarat xxxxxxxx. 
“OK, let’s head for the hill.”
As they turned, they heard someone say, “Fetch a fortune at auction.”
Sarat span round.
“Who said that?”
If you remember, Mel once remarked that Sarat can emit the aura that causing him the slightest discontent will result in instant demise.
“I think you may have upset him,” drawled Mitch.
“You will not remove the card,” said Sarat.
Order? thought Varulin, that’s no order, that’s an irresistible physical force. 
“Is that clear?” asked Sarat.
Sure, Sarat, sure.  Just a joke, Sarat.  Honest, Sarat, it was a joke.  Mel’d break our necks!
“No, he wouldn’t,” said Sarat.  “I’d have got there first.”
“There sure is some fine carving here,” said Mitch.
They made it to the car and zoomed off up to the hill.
“Shit, man,” said the idiot.
“He’s bound to be a little tense.”
“Is that what you call it!  I just found out what it’s like to be on the wrong side of the Anile Emperor!”
“We’ll talk to the H-W,” said Mitch.
Sarat made his way to the Room
 “I have brought this devastation.”
“My darling,” said Saski, “no.”
They hugged..
At length Sarat sat.
What are the expressions, thought Venga.  You look like hell. You look like death warmed up. 
“This is what we’re going to do,” said Sarat.
The state occasion, thought Mel, the pound of screaming flesh.  Give them that.
“I can do that,” said Sarat.  “I can do that with my heart torn in two.  I cannot afterwards make polite conversation.  I cannot leave Kadun to indulge  my grief.  It’s desertion.”
Hass got up and put his arm around Sarat.
“I think the guy needs to talk.”
“I have a right to claim a greater grief?” asked Sarat.  “After all, I killed her.”
“Balls,” said Venga briskly.
“It is natural, darling,” said Saski, “that should be an emotion you experience, but really it is the most awful nonsense.”
Sarat shrugged: no Anile throne, no funeral.
“We have our own demons,” said Mel.  “We were told to run for cover and we ran.” Tar looked up sharply. “If I do not say that in front of Sarat, I do not say it.”
 
Seani looked at the candle and the message.
“He wouldn’t have done that if it’s Zur.”
“How can they bury her in Zur!  Bets are on Carlin.”
“Sorg all over again.”
“Won’t get near.”
“Poor bastards.”
“Plural?”
“Plural.  We watched them grow up!”
“If I just close my eyes, they’re in the Saa’nda Senta.”
“Beneath these cold heartless exteriors, we all feel that.”
“How do we convince the Aniles!”
 
It is well known Pietri has his differences with Sarat.  He must surely hold Sarat responsible for his daughter’s terrible death.
Zuri, used enough to all shades of broadcaster shooting mouth off in the Saa’nda Senta, turned on this one.
Shut it, arsehole!
Surely that is merely a truth too terrible to bear.  Does not Zur hold Sarat responsible for the death of its princess?
Ask him.  Come on, say, hi Pietri, everyone knows you blame Sarat.
Yeah, man!  You go to the hill and fucking ask him!
Do we sound as if we blame Sarat?
Maya was a person.  And a fucking brave one. 
Bloody Ciletij still trying it on!
 
The Representative of Harn at Azt presents his condolences to His Imperial Majesty. 
On behalf of the whole of Harn – Sarat’s face stopped him.  Sarat….I have to say these things.
Come back to me when I’ve got Searc.
You have proof?
Not yet.  Would you give a message to Bal?
Of course.
Tell him we’re turning the screws.
Oh dear.  Must I?
 
Aztians talking about the funeral, live on Channel One
“I’m sure it’ll all be perfect.  Can’t tell us, can they!”
Most people had quietly figured that the rate of attrition hadn’t been greater only because Sarat never ever issued a schedule.
“Thing we have to think about is what Maya would have wanted.”
“Everyone look after him, that’s what she’d’ve wanted.”
“Right!”
“Hope it’s not in Zur.”
“You gotta think of her mum and dad.”
“Maybe she’d have wanted to go home.”
“Support Sarat.  Whatever he wants, it’s all right by us.”
“Right!”
No nay-sayers? they asked in the studio.  Nobody asking to be lynched, no.
 
No, honey, said Mitch with the reserves of patience that made him such a good father.  Not like that. 
Varulin looking out of the window couldn’t quite keep his face straight. 
My lord of Var-segan is instructing my lady of Var-segan in the finer points of horsemanship. 
Ride?  They’re going to ride?
 
The Cabinet of the Republic of Harn choked.
After, counselled Bal, I shall talk to the young man after the funeral.
Shouldn’t the message be passed around?
An excellent notion, said Bal.
 
“The whole of the people-space,” said Shav.  “It has to become a meadow.”
“So much for designing for posterity.”
“Eternity,” said Shav.  “Different.”
“Sis,” said Sarat.
“Bro?”
“Shav – “
She put a finger to his lips. 
“My choice.”
“Or it is a fairground game,” continued Sarat remorseless.  “Knock down the five dollies, another five take their place, until none is left.”
“There are a lot of us, aren’t there,” said Shav.
“Don’t joke.”
“Then laugh,” said Shavli.  “People are saying – they’re edging round it, Sarat.  They love each other, don’t they.  That’s all that matters.”
“Kadun is shy,” said Sarat.  “We saw it when we cleaned out the House of Silence. There was a sort of hum of love, but no-one actually said anything.  Now I must say it.” 
“Darling, there is a time for all things.  You said it!   How many times since arriving in Azt have you used the word ‘Cult’ in public?”
 “Do you think I haven’t thought of that?”
“There were people dying of hunger.  You set out to change everything.  You have changed everything.”
“Oh yes,” said Sarat.
 
Bal pondered as he undressed.
Does this man like me?  If I were Sarat, I should hate me, but I do not – perhaps that is did not – think Sarat exactly hates anyone.  A question of the kind of guys they are.  The other matter!  Now I do not bow to the like or dislike of any man, be he prince or porter, but if I ask myself in all honesty if I do not value the good opinion of Sarat or Mel over that of Searc I have to answer myself that I should be a screaming lunatic if I did not.  Kids to feed, road-repairpersons to pay.  I really did not think they would fight dirty.  What in hell am I going to do?
Why did I not think they would fight dirty?
 
“There’s this crazy rumour going round, he’s going to ride behind her coffin.”
“Oh Sarat.  It’s too far.”
“Not from the House at Carlin.”
 
A trio of Zuri sat talking.
We could call it Maya’s song.
I think we ought to ask. 
OK, there’ll be some won’t like it.
If Pietri don’t like it, we ditch it, all right. Absolute last thing we want to do is upset Alzani-Meta.
Get our necks broken.
The story was all over Zur.
They climbed the hill.
We don’t want to intrude.  It’s about remembering Maya.
Pietri was found and faced three young men whose basic state appeared to be excruciating embarrassment. 
Support Sarat. We think it’s what Maya would have wanted.
We’ve written a song.
Well, not written exactly.
Look, if you don’t like it, it’s in the bin.
I thank you…May I see it?
We’ve got it typed out.
Finally the words were prised out of them.
Pietri stared at the page, not sure whether to laugh or cry.
I see, he said.  Maya would love it.  I thank you.  I do think you should mention it to Mel.
Thank you!  Thank you!
 
“Supposing you’re a soprano,” said Shavli. Sarat looked a bit surprised but did his best.  “You hit all the top notes.  That’s fine.  That’s cool.  Your voice dominates the stage.  But what you need to do is go higher, beyond the range of the human voice.”
“Now, Sarat, if you will just tell our viewers, and remember, there must be a hundred million tuned in worldwide, exactly what you think about death. Shall I tell them about the throne too?”
“Now you come to mention it…” said Shav. 
 
Kadun did not go pear-shaped, said Mel. The Harni pretended not to understand.  Bal said he had to protect his own in case Kadun went bottoms up.
We cannot consider Kadun stable until there is a democratically elected government in place.
Kadun cannot be stable until the Cult is annihilated.  The Cult cannot be annihilated until the City stops feeding it.
It’s natural you should be feeling a little over-wrought at this time, Mel.
Sohenoil, retorted Mel, is feeling very over-wrought indeed.  I am trying to help you guys.  I am trying to explain the bottom is about to fall out of your world.  Find a lifeboat!
You just want us to invest in AMI!  No-one can do anything, Mel.
Mel gave up.
Watch this space.
 
Her Imperial Majesty will be buried the day after tomorrow in the presence of her family and friends.  This will be followed by services simultaneously in Azt, Zur and Maona-pri to which the chief mourners will return.  His Imperial Majesty will speak the requiem.
Most breath-taking statement I’ve seen in my life, even from Sarat.  Where, Sarat, pretty please?
Ask The Girls.  Soft touch, easily swayed.
 
I need to know what time, said Bal. OK, that’s 8 in the morning with us.  People’ll be up all night watching the funeral.  Guess we just got a new public holiday. 
 
There will be services also in Gula-Toon, Wintawa and the City.
 
A smear campaign began in the City.  The Sisterhood announced a candlelit vigil the night of the funeral.  The idea quickly spread across the water. Maya’s death became a feminist issue. 
 
Shavli addressed the cameras.  .
“OK, people, you’re going to spend the night out and that is just incredibly sweet of you.  I think it’s beautiful, in fact.  If it’s actually going to be beautiful, we think you need a bit of help.  Loos, hot drinks, shelters for people who get chilled or get sick, first aid in case of accidents.  After all, this is the whole city we’re talking about.”
If it wasn’t before, it is now.
“Fortunately the family caterers are more than willing to provide anything you might need free of charge.  After all, she was their Maya.”
It took Kadun a moment to realize she meant AMI.
“Above all, of course, I want to thank you for your flowers, for your cards, for your messages, for your outpouring of  love which has lightened the load of these past few terrible days, for Sarat, for me, for all of us.  We know that Maya did not die in vain because Azt loves her, Kadun loves her. 
 
“I thank you.”
 
She blew Kadun a kiss. 
 
Kadun blushed furiously and looked in the mirror to check it had combed its hair.
 
Getting in some practice in case she has to do the job. Even vultures shut out some thoughts as unbearable and unprintable, at any rate 48 hours before the funeral. Everybody who thought thought it.  It is a measure of how far we have travelled that  Anile Empress in her own right…Voices trailed off. 
 
“We recorded  Just Some Girls Talking over Lunch,” said Jaizi.  “I really think you’d better see this.”
Yes, of course they killed her because she was Her Imperial Majesty, but why would that have mattered if she’d been some cipher?
It was the guys everyone focused on, right.  I mean, this is Kadun! 
We knew Karula had a track-record as a radical and Cantilip, well, Cantilip is Cantilip.  Mess with earthpower and you die!  The debt women in Kadun owe to Van-senok is just about immeasurable.  They never surrendered.  But we didn’t know anything about Maya.  Obviously we didn’t think Sarat’d be paired with some dumb-bun, but she didn’t seem political.
For that matter, we didn’t think Alzani-Meta produced dumb-buns, but they did seem rather political!   Maya-ban-essa, rest her soul, embodied just about everything every woman wants to be. [Laughter] OK, OK, including Sarat’s partner, or is that in bad taste!  She was just totally her own person.  She made her own decisions and she darned well died for them.  I mean, excuse me, Maya, would you like to be Anile Empress.  Thank you, no, Sarat, I have a  nice safe life here in Zur..  She risked everything, gave up everything.
She was so damn’ brave – do you remember the blast at the consecration.?
[Pause]
Well, they all are.
There is no question in my mind – of course they killed her to hurt Sarat but basically they killed her because of what she was, a tough, free lady, symbol of our aspirations, focus of our hopes.  Sarat must know that.  I mean, I don’t think anyone actually -  you kind of assumed he’d get support from Cho.  No, no!  Oh dear, I mean I’m sure Cho loves him to pieces. Sarat’s answer is Shavli, Zika and Ven and let me tell you we are rooting for those ladies!  Women will not be put down by the bastards, not ever again, and that is Maya’s legacy.
Mitch tried to read Sarat’s expression and failed.
“It’s a funeral,” said Zik, “not another round in the sex war.”
“You’re not coming from where they’re coming from,” said Karula.
“That’s rather obvious,” said Zika.
“It’s a candlelit vigil,” said Shavli.  “It’s not going to turn into a riot.”
“There is absolutely no-one in Azt who harbours or ever has harboured a single negative thought about Sarat or Maya.”
“That’s a different ball-park,” said Shav.
“How?” demanded Zika.
Sarat spoke at last.
“Let’s just say it’s a volatile situation.”
There were things Sarat thought about the Cult striking duringthe funeral shared with no-one but Cho and Faun.  Contingency Plan (F) was to be carried out to the letter, whether he remained alive or not. I can tell you now that they didn’t strike during the funeral and even that no-one expected that they would.  We didn’t rule out loose cannons. 
“It is not in us,” said Zika drily,  “to ask them to remember to be quiet and respectful in the presence of the Great Master.”
Mitch flexed his eyebrows.
“Here I go again,” decided Shavli
 
Shavli shook back her hair and settled into the settee to die for.
I’m not going to take up much of your time, but what I do have to say matters.  Hearken, therefore.
Maya in the short time she was here came to mean a very great deal to a very many people, especially women.  When we lose someone we love dearly, tempers run short. When that loss is as politically charged as is Maya’s death, there is the possibility tempers may be lost.  On the day of the funeral, two things will be paramount to me, and I want them to be paramount throughout Kadun.  One is Sarat’s well-being and the other is what Maya would have wanted.  We are all of course acutely aware that many political questions remain to be fully resolved.  They will be fully resolved.  That is Sarat’s pledge and the pledge of all of us, his family.  We are told that the whole of Kadun will be out on the streets to show its love – your love – for Maya.  That is as it should be, a day of love, a day of remembrance, a day of peace. That is what Maya would have wanted.  That is what Sarat wants.  Politics can wait until the day after. Thank you again.  Thank you for all your flowers.  Thank you for all your love. 
 
She blew Kadun another kiss.
 
That, folks, is the Anile heir.
Almost worth doing in Sarat – he clapped his hand over his mouth.  I didn’t think.
Serious offence, that, son.
We’re vultures.  We’re supposed to make tasteless jokes.
 
Eek, typed Mel.  What brought that on?
Sarat mailed him the transcript
!  I love it.
I shall love it in two days’ time. 
 
Her Imperial Majesty will be buried at the shrine attached to the Summer Palace.  Hey, but that’s private property!  Can’t no-one visit – During opening-hours, said Zulagan with bitter fury.  If you can’t reach her grave you can’t dig her up again, can you.
 
It’s like a pall has fallen on the whole of Azt as the sun sets and the vigil begins.  There must be the whole city out on the streets.  I do not think anything like this has been seen ever.  Here and there in the crowds are braziers to warm them and stalls dispensing hot drinks, but mostly there is just the flicker of candles on worn faces, the distant mournful hoot of ships on the river, and the sound of people crying.  
 
Duvi, Saryulin and Marula arrived at the Jumesit, sat with Sarat, Mitch, Karula and B and P watching the camera pan over Azt’s candles. 
This is Azt, thought Duvi, and so this is impossible.
“We should get a little sleep,” said Saryulin at last, really meaning Sarat should.
Baz went with them to find their rooms. 
Mitch suddenly remembered something, muttered excuse me, and sprinted after them.
He caught up with them, was suddenly at a loss for words.
“This place is a little weird,” he said lamely.  Baz grinned unhelpfully. He remembered.  “You have ghosts in Carlin.” Saryulin raised his eyebrows sky-high. “They say the walls of time are very thin here.  Just don’t be surprised at anything.” 
Marula shook with laughter.
“If we meet Narulis, I trust we shall know how to behave.”
“Sarat does,” said Baz.
“We could talk or read,” said Duvi after a moment.  “Darling, I am agog.”
“The stories concerning the Jumesit,” said Marula, “are extraordinary.”
“Sarat – and indeed Maya – did, do not find it a little disturbing?”
“Sarat,” said Baz, then stopped, not wanting to enter into a dissertation.  “Sarat is not – is no longer a fresh-faced youth wholly concerned with the exoteric.”
They digested that in silence and retired.
 
The singing began just before dawn, clearly a lament.  Duvi stirred, thnking it first light, but the glow was coming from a far corner of the room.  She touched Saryulin’s shoulder.  He grunted, then sat up, he too thinking it was dawn.  The girl wore a cloak of forest green.  I know you, said Duvi, despite herself.  The girl smiled.  I am Brig.  I mourn my lord.   My lady, said Saryulin.  You are welcome always at Carlin.  She smiled again and faded.   I am really rather shaken, observed Duvi after a moment.
 
Now dawn is breaking over Azt, and this most terrible of days begins.  People who have fallen asleep in the arms of their loved ones are stirring, sleeping-bags are unzipped.  The unsung heroes of this day will surely prove to be the charity workers making sure everyone gets something hot inside him.  Or of course her.  With such crowds calculation of numbers is practically impossible but most people think every female who can walk unaided is out here and some who can’t.  An old lady in a wheelchair has been reported  in the Colonnade!
 
Marula was almost entirely silent at breakfast, throughout their preparations.  Cantilip got out of her what had happened later.
 
Finally we move to the Palace from where Her Imperial Majesty will begin her final journey.  From behind the Palace appears – no, no, it’s not a car, it’s a carriage, a silver gun-carriage pulled by six silver horses – we have learned of course that the imperial family does not do black as the colour of mourning.   Now the coffin has been placed on the carriagee and the Imperial Guard line up for the final salute.  The carriage is preparing to draw away.   From both sides of the Palace come the procession, all in silver, all on silver horses.  His Imperial Majesty leads a riderless horse!   This is grace, that is style.  Would we expect any less?  He is wearing a sword!  Is that traditional?  Behind him come Pietri and Caluna Talal – everyone is wearing a sword, the ladies and the gentlemen alike!  I guess that’s one way of confronting the security issue!  Vij and Sarshi Talal, Mel and Cantilip Talal,  Hasiyata and Venga Talal.  Behind them are my lord and lady of Var-segan and my lord and lady of Carlin.  My lady of van-senok follows them.  Behind Marula Za-fenan, oh my heaven, it’s PANTHER and the Hadin-Wadud, but not, I swear, as you have previously seen our gallant defenders.  Did you know PANTHER had a dress uniform?  Baz and Paw, of course, they must have known Maya as long as Sarat did!  Little Jaizi.  As we know, Jaizi was born in Tjulsit…   .   
               Plotters Central, thought the less romantic.
               A day of peace, sir?  Challin collapsed.  This is all-out war!  Let me re-interpret Her Imperial Highness’ touching words.   The only politics will be displayed by us.
               Anyone start anything, thought Karci, and we cut your head off.  I do like that thought.
               Now the cortege is passing through the gates of the Palace into the streets of Azt.  The crowds are absolutely silent except – something is happening in that crowd.  People are starting to hold up placards: We love you.  As the coffin passes, as Sarat passes, people are bowing, curtseying, saluting.
This crowd is not silent!  It is like a susurration.  As the procession passes, most especially of course as Sarat passes, they murmur.  My lords, my ladies.  Imperial Majesty.  What is going on here is like a pact, an oath of allegiance, a vow.  It’s like an electric current.  It’s like Narulis riding by!  Is that the point?  Sure, tomorrow it’ll be Sarat, that’s crap.  Mel, you’re talking garbage…
 
Now they’ve nearly reached the Summer Palace and joining them are six cars.  Who do we think are in those six cars?  Obviously Sarat’s mother and father….The cortege is passing through the gates of the Summer Palace and the gates swing shut behind…
 
A journo crept along the wall. 
Interrupt this, said a squaddy cheerfully, and you die.
See that, added his corporal enthusiastically, that’s a safety-catch.  Now, supposing I put it off.
All righty, all righty! 
Why don’t you blokes get it?
 
Some reactions now from the crowd…
 Nobody’d have minded, lad!  I just shook me head.  Nobody’d have minded if he’d drove.
Int never seen anything so flaming brave in me life.
In yer face, you – well, never mind.
 
Now the gates have opened to allow the cars to leave and slammed tight shut again.  It looks like they’re heading straight for the airport…There is some precision timing going on here….No, no, some are clearly going into Azt…
Indeed Sarat who had felt an almost palpable relief when even his nearest and dearest and closest had gone and he didn’t have to speak to anyone and who was now kneeling by the grave reciting something (Mitch couldn’t catch the words) showed no particular sign of wishing to leave.
Mitch looked quickly at his watch.
All the time in the world.
Time passed.
Once more the Gates are opening and Sarat rides out. Following him – but this is a different set of riders.  Mitch and Karula var-segan, Falita Em- I mean Falita San-yaega-baht, but I do not recognize – I am told the other lady and gentleman are Sorg’s mother and father and here too are PANTHER and the H-W.  I am being handed an official statement.  This is for everyone who has suffered grievous loss at the hands of the Cult.  This is our answer. Oh my.  I guess PANTHER is finding this a very long war.  What PANTHER has suffered, the corruption of the throne, the flight back to Fidub…They’re going to ride all the way to the House of Silence, right? 
Right.
 
Now they’re arriving at the House of Silence and you could hear a feather drop, never mind a pin.  Really, you could not think so many people could be so still.  Sarat is – they are all dismounting and removing their swords.  They’re going in now…
 
Sarat walked through the House of Silence and took the stand.  Mel took the stand in Zur, Cho in Maona-pri.  Sarat will speak for us all.
 
Star turn.  Culmination.
 
Dear people, I thank you.  I shall not say in my worst dreams I never imagined but of course the reality.  Some have called us heedless, foolhardy.  We pay then for our folly?  We do not skulk, cringe before Death the Great Master – “ The contempt in his voice was palpable.   “And so some will say is this devastation we experience, is this ceremonial we conduct, not in obedience, obeisance to Death.”  Oh Sarat, breathed Mitch.  “We are human.  To be human is to love.  We grieve because we love, but love must conquer our grief, our fear.  We feel the pain and pass through it into love.  We are here today in love to love, to affirm the triumph of love.  Love endures.  We are here because we love Maya, not because we loved her, an ephemeral state, soon forgotten.  This flame symbolizes that love.  It is no feeble thing, readily extinguished.  It is Light.  It is power.  It is all power.  Death has no power over us.  And so there is not an ending but a change, as every atom in the flame changes from moment to moment.  Once more things are different but also they are the same.  There is no faltering in our resolution, no dent in our love.
 
“‘They came, the skull-faces, but we laughed.’  This Narulis wrote in his Journal – “  When a very large number of people gasp, it makes a noise, however quietly they try to do it.  Sarat continued.  This I say to you today.  They cannot destroy laughter.  Today we feel far from it, I perhaps most of all, but all sorrow must pass. 
 
I am here because I love Maya.  My lady is my grace and my truth.  My lady is my resolution and my culmination. To my lady I say, they cannot destroy our love.
 
I thank you all for being here.  I thank you all, on Maya’s behalf, on my own, for your love.
 
He bowed and walked slowly out.  A single flute played the Requiem.
It wasn’t quiet any more.  Too many people crying.
After a moment, Saryulin, Duvi, Mitch, Karula and Marula followed him out.  They got into the waiting cars.  It was over.
 
As Sarat drives away through a silent Azt, we move to Zur, where Alzani-Meta leaves the House of Silence.
The first crashing chords hit the screens. 
Sarat frowned.
All of us of course know Dabida’s unofficial anthem.  They’ve changed the words!  They’re calling it the ‘It’s what Maya would have wanted song’!
The words flashed on the screen. .
Does Sarat fail?  Does Sarat quail?  No, he does not, our brave Sarat!  Come hadin, come.
A roar went up from the crowd in Azt as they took up the words.
Sarat seemed in shock.
“I don’t think I’m going to escape,” he said after a moment. .
“If we go down Sertal we can get to the Colonnade.”
“Mel hasn’t,” said Sarat.
“I thank you,” Mel was saying.
“Sir.”
“We just think we have never seen anything so fucking brave in our lives.”
Pietri smiled.
“I am relieved we can rely upon Zuri to be formal and sober on all occasions.”
“Sir.  It’s the you looked death in the face and told him to go – to get stuffed day.”
Sarat has turned off.  Yes, he’s heading for the Colonnade.  Such an outpouring of affection, of, use the word , love must be a very  real support to him – he’s stopped outside the Imperial, he’s getting out.  The crowd has stopped in mid-chorus.  They’re starting to sing the imperial anthem.  I really don’t know about this, must it not to Sarat be a tragic reminder of that first jubilant night in Azt, but this is no heavy metal rendition but almost stately and every soldier present – let’s face it now our hearts are no longer in our mouths there are very many soldiers present and the security arrangements of this day – every soldier is rigidly at attention.  But what is good, what is great, what too is a measure of how far Kadun has travelled, is every soldier of every army and Sarat is I think thanking them.  Now he has turned to the crowd.  He’s saluting them and I guess he’ll stay at the salute until they’ve finished singing…OK, they’ve finished.  What now? 
Sarat said once again: I thank you all for being here.  I thank you all, on Maya’s behalf, on my own, for your love.  He got back into the car. 
Now I guess he’s really going home.  If we cut now to Maona-pri…
On this most terrible of days the ‘It’s what Maya would have wanted song’ lifts up hearts the world over, and I would hope it is not presumptuous, Cho, to think yours is among them.
I thank Dabida, I thank Kadun..  At the start of such a day it is hard to think it may end on so firm an affirmation of love and hope.  For that of course I thank  Sarat who found the words to articulate that affirmation.”
“That was some – address.”
“I am so proud of him,” said Cho.  “I am so proud of him it hurts.”
“People are saying – he just said everything.”
“Everything that matters,” said Cho.
 
“Every damn’ paper in Harn.”
Bal groaned.
“Every damn’ paper in the world.”
There is only one headline,  Seani had said.  Most of the world’s press agreed.
WE DO NOT DO COWERING.  The Azt Star made it into a graphic, a red circle with the word ‘cowering’ in the middle and a red line through it. 
 
They arrived at the Palace and vanished off the world’s radar.
“Now I collapse,” said Sarat.  “My lords, my ladies, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.”
“Imperial Majesty! Think nothing of it.”
Pots of coffee were brought. 
Sarat smiled.
“I think tea for my lady of Carlin.”
“Darling,” said Duvi, “so long as it’s hot and wet.”
At length Saryulin said: “You wish to talk?  You wish to be alone?”
“At this moment,” said Sarat, “I may be beyond knowing.”
“I’ll stay,” said Mitch.
The rest wandered off to try to sleep.
“I have an idea,” muttered Mitch.  He disappeared into the kitchen, emerged to raid the drinks cabinet and disappeared again to surface with two glasses of something pale green.. 
“Get this down you.”
Sarat examined the glass.
“Poison?”
“An old family recipe.  We call it the reviver.”
Sarat downed the lot, then threw the glass across the room.
“Yeah,” said Mitch.
“I think maybe I just want to sit,” said Sarat.  “Let the screaming pass through me.”
“Just yell if you need me,” said Mitch.
Some hours later Mitch surfaced.
“Food is good.  You need to eat, Sarat.”
“I’ve been thinking,” said Sarat.  “I really don’t know how to be without her.  Have to start from scratch.”
They were 15, thought Mitch, damn and blast everything to hell, they were 15!  It’s almost like he has had no life without her.
 
“I really don’t think it matters any more,” said Cho.
“Agreed,” said Faun. “There’s just one thing you need to know before you come.”
“Sarat?”
“Sarat, I hope,  is managing to get some sleep.  The crowds are still on the streets, Cho.  Not so many,  Sure, some people have gone home.  They say they should see the day out, it’s not right to go home until midnight, a new day.  We tried to look that one up.  Can’t find anything.  I think they’re making it up as they go along. “
“What could be nicer.”
 “They got it so wrong.”
“A day behind bullet-proof glass.”
“A day behind bullet-proof glass could not have ended quite like this.”
“I really don’t want,” said Cho, “to – “ He smiled.  “Intrude.  I think this is strictly doting grandfather.”

Cho slunk into the back of the Imperial.   . 
They showed him into Sarat’s office.  Shav looked up, looking tired.
“Just running the joint.  Talk about a wing and a prayer!  His Imperial Majesty is not receiving tonight.  Everyone has just about grasped that but the world does not stop turning. . I rang Mitch.  He says Sarat’s doing just fine working his way through it.  The strain of today.  I don’t think I could have done that.”
“I don’t think he could have done it without Mitch.  Where’re Zik and Ven?”
“Selflessly I toil while my sisters sleep!  No way.  Zika was last seen in a really rather heavy-duty discussion about metaphysics.  Really Sarat, if you will say these things,” she added innocently.   “Ven said she was off to the canteen and hasn’t been seen since.”
“Tell her she’ll get fat.”
He slunk away again and headed for the Palace.
 
“I told him he had to eat.  He said he didn’t know how to be without her.”
“Where is he?”
“Sitting.”
“Sitting where?”
“If you want to be literal,” said Mitch, “he’s sitting on the step leading from the sitting-room to the bedroom.  I don’t think it matters where he’s sitting.”  He sighed.  “He’s – talking to people.  Sometimes.  This place!”
“My lord of Var-segan,” said Cho with mock severity, “your rationalism is inappropriate.”
Mitch sighed again.
“Duvi had a little chat to Brig.”
Cho laughed out loud and made his way to the sitting-room,
“Sarat?  Narulis?  How does one put the lights on?”
Sarat picked up the remote and became visible.
“My dear boy.”
“The show went on, my most intimate feelings on display to what, a hundred million worldwide.  I have never in my life felt so alone.”
“That is not the word?” suggested Cho.
“That is not the word,” agreed Sarat gravely.  “Naked.  Flayed.  I did it my way.” 
“Where is the kitchen?” asked Cho.
Sarat got up slowly.
“Shall I feel better with a good strong cup of coffee inside me?”
“I shall,” said Cho.
“There is an exquisitely concealed sink in the corner.  Like in The Room.”  He fiddled with the remote again and sat on the settee while Cho put the kettle on.  “The weight of being Anile Emperor.”
“Sarat…”  If you put on a show that tears people’s hearts open, that flays the world. . “This also – devastates?”
“Where is the next beginning?”
“This you – contemplate?”  Cho found the biscuit tin. “Eat!”
“I sit here in the dark,” said Sarat, “Not because I am devastated, although I am devastated, but because I do not yet know the start of the next continuum.”
“You know,” said Cho.
“Now I am Kadun,” said Sarat.  “There can be no errors of judgement because the poor boy is bereft.”
“You do not do badly thus far.  Coffee.”
 “My lady,” continued Sarat, “was my privacy.  Does that make sense?  A part of me shielded from the world.”
 
The airwaves continued babbling into the night.
You could say it was a statement of – of emotional unity between Kadun and Dabida, and if that seems strange because it also seemed it was never any other way. 
It is almost unbearably poignant because Sarat and Maya symbolized that unity but only by her death did it become fully real.
I wouldn’t disagree with that, but I’d say it’s also – also a change in perception of Sarat.  Who today thought Sarat some Fidubi guy!  He is Kadun, man!
It’s like all the mental barriers, the labels, just dissolved.
I think that’s the opposite of what I just said!
Maybe.
Of course no-one has doubted a deep-seated set of convictions underpinned the entire enterprise.
He’s killed Jaizal!
Dabida will not tolerate an emperor in Azt! It was another world!
I thnk it’ll take us a little time to truly get the hang of what has happened here today. 
If we turn to one of the most famous choruses in the world, ‘Come hadin come, come not alone’, and just contemplate the symbolism of Kadun singing that to the rest of the continent, which is nearly as bad as Dabida singing it to the rest of the continent, don’t you think it astonishing that those words remained unchanged?
No-one ever censored Zuri.
You mean Zur is singing that demanding some action around here?
Wouldn’t you be?
I think it’s only – only when you really understand they don’t give that – he snapped his fingers – about dying – haven’t we asked, why weren’t these kids too scared to get out of bed in the morning?
Challin abruptly turned the radio off and continued his internal dialogue with Sarat.  We are human, meaning we are animal.  Our drive is to survive.  We don’t like it at the time.  What else are we, sir?  I operate on a need to know basis.  If I am to die for you, I need to know.
 
Sarat expressed a desire to sleep and stretched out on the settee.  Cho covered him with a blanket and slipped away.
“The flowers keep coming,” said Mitch.   “As people go home, they drop them off!”
Cho said: “Asyrion in a field with flowers.”  Then: “He will be different.”
“He is different,” said Mitch.
Sarat woke just before dawn. 
“I love you,” he said sleepy but cognisant. He got up and walked over to the window.  The flowers were waist-high.  He almost refound his sense of humour.  How can I cope!  He heard Maya giggle.
 
Time for the real world.  Nothing realler, honey.  We’re dead and we don’t even know it.  Or you were, my love. and you knew it.  You couldn’t convince us we were dead because we weren’t.  What is being screamed at us is everything is whole.  Oh how does it work?  Not now, he told himself, but he went outside and  waded into the flowers to read the cards.
CLICK CLICK CLICK
“Vultures,” said Jaizi affectionately.
Sarat looked up.
“Watch it,” he said.  “She has a sword.”
There was a tremor of shock.
“You got a sword, Sarat?”
“I have a sword,” said Sarat. 
He went inside and dressed, then made a few phone calls.
 
“We understood,” observed Challin, “nothing.”
“Zilch,” said Karci, “the Big O.”
“You look shaken.”
“Isn’t everyone?”
Challin smiled.
 
“Them flowers, said Varulin.  “A word in your shell-like.”  He grinned at As. “Sir.  Think this is a ‘sir’ sort of conversation, you having been through it and all.”  Asdinan knew Varulin had lost a daughter from meningitis.  “Being also better educated, socially elevated and spiritually more advanced, as you are.”
“Me?” said As..  “Come on, I’m an infant!’
“Well, maybe I’m an embryo,” said Varulin.  “Maybe I can’t take it from the folks who hear the wheels of the universe.”
“You want to talk about death?” hazarded As.
“Yes and no,” said Varulin.  “I want – you could say I want to report to the CinC only I don’t think at this minute. There’s lots of things I want to say and I’m buggered if I know where to start.  It’s like – advice for a start.  Folk don’t want to be cool any more.  They want to sort of pledge their swords.  Then there’s the flowers.  It’s love or hate now, and if it’s love blokes want to show it only we don’t know how.  It’s like formality isn’t empty after all. People are talking about death,” he ended in a rush.  “First time in my life, like it was – that’s not what I mean.  Like it was natural, even when it ain’t.  You know folks say you go to a field of flowers.  Do you believe in an after-life?”
“I don’t know,” said Asdinan.  “I don’t know what I believe.  What I have heard, what I have learned. Even the – folks who hear the wheels,  They – can’t make out all the words.  If – if you ask me if I think Maya is in a field with flowers in some other – dimension, no, no, I don’t, I think I don’t.  I think it’s a beautiful idea and she may be – in some form of beautfiul state.  How d’you give yourself if not through obedience?”
“That’s it,” said Varulin.  Sorg’s answer hung between them.  “I think,” said Varulin, “we’re all ready to do that.”
“It will not come to that,” said Asdinan with some force.
But Varulin said: “Perhaps it should.”
As nodded. 
“Was that the first mistake, not to force an open war?”
“I really don’t know,” said Varulin.
“Were they too nice?”
“Don’t reckon they’re going to be quite so nice now..”
“But that is not the answer.”
“Now it is.  We all know what they said.  Fresh start.  Can’t prosecute everyone who’s compromised.  There’s not many compromised now.  No-one’s going to bleed if he hangs them.”
 It’s not how they do things in Fidub, thought Asdinan.  They don’t have the fucking Cult in Fidub.
“Kadun’s been going a long time,” continued Varulin.  “Lots of stories.”
“Sure,” said As.
“When she died.  I was there.”
“Yes,” said As.
“I been thinking about that a lot.  I think he was with her, if you know what I mean.  I can’t explain. I don’t know nothing.  That man was not in this world.”
 “I know they – join minds,” said As.
“So if one’s going – other’s going too.”
“Unless they’re forced apart,” said As with a sort of dawning horror.
“Baz,” said Varulin.  “I have never ever seen him lose it like that.”
“I think perhaps,” said As, “the exact stresses of that particular moment may be something we’ll never know or should know.”
Varulin grinned suddenly.
“But we should be very very nice to him.”
“Very very nice,” said As.
 
 
And so finally we’re back to me, me who was in a meeting with bloody bankers when some slimy lackey entered and whispered the news.  The lead rat stood and announced he regretted Maya-ban-essa had been assassinated.  Perhaps the meeting should be adjourned?  I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction.  I didn’t even ask casually if Sarat was OK. 
Laters, I said, and ran.
They were already erecting screens in the Plaza to show the footage from Azt.  I looked at Sarat with Maya in his arms and threw up.
Lot of people feel like that, love.
So there am I standing by a little heap of my own puke.  Now was not the time for good citizenship  I started to walk away but I didn’t really know where I was going.  Among the wounded is Colonel Cioulis – NO!   I tried to get Cioulis on his mobile.  Off. He’s in hospital, I told myself firmly.  I hailed a cab and tried to get Sarat on his mobile.  Off.  I tried Mel.  Off.  This is crazy I muttered.  They must be taking calls from each other!  I remembered I had the direct line to the Room cunningly disguised in my diary and hoped I could remember what it was cunningly disguised as.  Found it!  A man answered.  I didn’t recognize his voice.  I just heard, I said.  Is Mel there, please?  May I ask who wants him.  I’m Kai, Sarat’s Economic Liaison Person in the City, which is where I am, half-mad with horror.  I tried to get Sarat.  Is he all right?  My dear, a moment.  Mel came on the line.  Oh Mel.  Mel, I am so sorry.  Is Cioulis OK? He hadn’t known.  He told me to get to the Rep Centre.  Which one?  My one!  I redirected my cabby.  There was already a line of people outside to sign a book of condolences.  My stomach lurched again.  I fell inside.  All was muted. 
Twenty minutes later Cioulis rang me, very apologetic, scratches.  He hadn’t wanted to call me and break the news knowing where I was.  We had a darling I understand I love you conversation but that didn’t stop Maya being dead.
 
His Imperial Majesty, Sarat-ban-essa, Master of Kadun, will speak from the scene of the blast.
 
At the airport I mailed one line to Bal: Now will you do something!
 
To my surprise I got an almost instant answer: Or it will be done for me?
 
Bal…I am but a humble cog who knows – I stopped typing suddenly and nosedived into what I knew, which came out as something like, everything about the Cult and less than everything about banking but why I’m here, why I’m part of the madness,d ‘you see, is it’s not about banking, you have to see that, Bal.  You won’t damned see it.  You have to take your head out of the sand, Bal, I screamed at him, mentally. OK, I was stressed.  I put my fingers back on the keyboard.  I do not make the fiscal policy of the Anile Empire! Not that that matters, because this is not a question of the fiscal policy of the Anile Empire.  So why did I bring it up in the first place.  Don’t ask me what Sohenoil will do.  Don’t ask me what AMI will do.  I don’t know.  But he hadn’t asked me.  I deleted the whole lot and typed: My guess is…yes.  With knobs on.
 
I am in shock. 
 
Kyse walked up to me.  He looked as dreadful as I did.  We hugged.  He’d been giving a lecture.  Something in the back of my mind buzzed, at least that was normal, what they do is wreck normal, what I’d been doing was abnormal, what the hell was I doing  ‘liaising’ with those fucks - ?
“Once upon a time,” I said, “there was a little Harni radical who found herself in a seminar with Mel Talal.”  I shook myself.  “Don’t know why I said that.  Thrown, Kyse, I feel – “
“As in kidded ourselves we were winning?”
“Oh Kyse.”  I managed a grin.  “This is not the time for musing on determinism. I ‘should have been’ giving a lecture, d’you see.  But I couldn’t have been.  Even if I’d never met Mel I could no more have kept out of the Matter of Kadun.  I’m babbling.”
“You are very, very distressed.”
“I am very, very distressed. Because I ought to have been doing something that would make a difference.”
He frowned.
“1.  That wouldn’t have prevented 2.  Sarat asked you to do it.”
“Sarat thought I could – I might get a sniff of their back-up position.  There has to be one.  I’m being distressed again.  From Bal, I mean, yeah, Searc’s really going to let the rat out of the bag to me. He thinks Bal knows the – the contingency plan. 
He considered.
“Sheer arrogance?” 
“What?  Maybe.”
“When you’ve been going as long as the Cult.  We are not talking about Maya.”
“I’m sorry!” It came out squeaky.”
He looked surprised.
“I didn’t mean….”
“Maybe I did!  What – I don’t think either of us is quite sane, right now.”
“That’s only half of it.”
“I am so glad it was you I walked into.  Bleeding from associated causes.”
Then our flight was called and any remaining shreds of sanity vanished.  They were searching under your toenails, they were searching inside your mouths.  OK, they weren’t searching under my toenails because I produced my PANTHER ID and switched on to auto-pilot.  I vouched for Kyse who suddenly became Mel’s oldest friend but what the hell were they looking for?  Auto-pilot told me that as PANTHER I should be supposed to know and so not to ask. Since it was clearly my duty to return with all speed to Azt, we settled ourselves on a half-empty plane and got some bad but strong coffee inside us.
“This Great Enterprise of Ours,” said Kyse softly, “has been hurt somewhere we can’t even begin to articulate, holed below the water-line.  Will you say it or shall I?”
“We don’t need to,” I said.  His expression said oh for fuck’s sake, Kai.  “At least it wasn’t Sarat.”
“Feminist hackles.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?  Terrible to be left widowed in charge of a country that isn’t even yours!”
“Are we all mad?”
“Yes.  Is the simple answer.  About those bankers of yours.”
“The simple answer is a load of high-explosive.  Give me a mo, I’m trying to find my brain.” A shred of that vital organ waved frantically at me.  “Bunch of radical kids.  Not a hope, therefore.  BUT.  But 1.  One is the Anle heir But 2.  One has friends where the ult can never reach.  But 3 Sohenoil.  But 4.  AMI.  Quesch, therefore.  What is it we have to do that they think we won’t do?  Is it something besides high explosive?  I might even suspect that at this point the world would forgive Sarat assassination but that is not what we’re about, man.